Sunday, September 16, 2012

A Family Always

"Come on, David, you need to be a part of the group and not lag behind," I reminded the lanky, dark headed 8th grader in whispered tones as we moved through the Holocaust museum. Hands in his pockets, he averted his eyes and sniffed a little, but joined the back of the group.

He was a tough one. He had transferred into our school district, sent by an overwhelmed mom to live with his dad and stepmom. He resisted efforts from the other kids to include him in their groups and discussions and showed disdain for his parents and their rules. He had once written in a journal he had no family, although clearly both his mom and his dad were trying their very best to keep him on a safe path.

He showed little emotion when other students were visibly moved in our reading of Anne Frank: Diary of a Young Girl and the related study on the Holocaust. Mostly, he appeared disinterested.

Now that we were touring a renowned Holocaust museum, he looked away as the docents explained the exhibits. Even as we stood in an actual rail car that transported Jews to Auschwitz, he assumed the stance of the bored; hands in pockets, head back.

I matched my steps to his, to ensure he didn't slip away from the group. "What do you think so far, David?" I asked him as we moved into the next gallery.

He pursed his lips and shrugged his shoulders.

The docent led us to a group of pictures of Latvians about to be executed by Nazis and Latvian collaborators. This picture in particular has always pierced me deeply and we stopped in front of it.


 
 
Our docent explained, "These women from the Epstein family had been forced to strip and were about to face a firing squad. Their dead relatives and neighbors are all around them. The elderly woman in the middle was not a part of their family. The mother of the girls, Sorella (some sources call her Rosa) Epstein, second from left, saw her, pulled her over with her daughters, and they all linked arms together. They didn't want this elderly woman to die alone, so they included her in their family."
 
My students couldn't take their eyes off the picture as she continued. 
 
"You can see that even though everything else had been brutally stolen from them, down to their very lives, Sorella and her daughters valued family enough to hold on to it until the end. Even in their last moments they stretched their family to include this woman, so she could die with family next to her."
 
The docent moved to the next set of pictures and the students followed, again with David staying behind on a bench near the picture. I moved closer and around to the side, and although he still couldn't see me, I watched him.
 
He stared intently at the picture. I wondered what he was thinking although I didn't have to wonder very long what he was feeling. A lone tear streaked down his cheek. He pulled the collar of his shirt over his face and wiped it quickly. He raised his head, looked at the picture again, and then turned and joined me.
 
We walked a few steps and I patted his back and asked, "What do you think?"
 
He cleared his throat as we joined the rest of the group. "Family," he said as he nodded his head. "Family."
 





66 comments:

  1. The photo and the story really go to me. I still can't come to grips with the things that happened in Europe during that terrible war. Even though these people were terrified by the things that were going on around them, and soon to to them, they took the time to include the lady in their group. That is an amazing example of selflessness and heroism. Fantastic post. It made me cry...

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    1. Pat: I cried again as I wrote it, and I look at the picture often. Their dignity and love so move me. I am so glad we are all able to know of Sorella and her amazing act.

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  2. What touched me a little more then the horrors of the Holocaust is that it showed that even a so called tough kid like David could be touched by it.......

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    1. Jo-Anne: And I am so happy that Sorella's brave example is still touching even hardened hearts today. I think it's a fitting memorial to her~

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  3. This makes me sick at heart, Shelly. It's very hard to look at that picture. I can't help wondering how I would have reacted knowing that death by firing squad was only seconds away. Would I have faced my fate with as much bravery and dignity as those women exhibited? I can't fathom the atrocities of war. If that's what it took to break David's pattern, give him a much needed reframe and attitude adjustment and get out from under his own feelings, then so be it. Thank you, dear friend!

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    1. Shady: I really debated about sharing this story, because the atrocities perpetrated then are so very heart rending. It guts me every year when we study the Holocaust. But I'm so glad Sorella's story touched David and will hopefully help him to see a better way. Thank you, my friend, for reading this through, even though I know how difficult it is~

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  4. I wish I could think of something appropriate to say, but your post has left me speechless.

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    1. Stephen: That Sorella's beautiful act could reach through years and generations and touch a kid like David is so fitting, I think. I hope somehow she knows.

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  5. Wow maybe he wishes his family had loved him enough to keep him in the fold???

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    1. Sandie: That could be. His mom couldn't handle him anymore, so that's why he's with his dad. I so hope this year will turn out to be a changing point for the good for him~

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  6. Quiet courage and dignity when I saw that picture and love and honor for Sorella to include the elderly lady in her very hour of need to be considered part of their family. I would probably spend a lot of time looking at that picture, imagining the horror of what they saw around them and what was their fate a very short time after that picture was taken. I'm not sure how her story was preserved through the years, but I am glad Sorella's story was able to be shared subsequent generations, years away from that horrific time so that it would someway, somehow touch the life of a young man that needed to have a touch like this. I am glad you did share this story, Shelly. You continued Sorella's legacy; I might not have ever have heard of her if I haven't read her story here on your blog. Thank you.

    betty

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    1. Betty: Even now, I still get teary over that picture and looking into Sorella's eyes. You are right- quiet courage and dignity are what I see, too. I really went back and forth about sharing this story, but I do feel that it honors Sorella that her kind, lovely, and brave act still deeply touches people all these years later.

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  7. Dearest Shelley, We always need to remember these atrocities and the innocent people who were hated simply because of their race and religion.Clearly David has some painful issues hidden away inside himself. Some people can share their hurts and others hang on and can't share. If you still have him, I pray you share with him, what his name means (if that is his real name), David means "beloved son", our names are no accident, even though he feels unloved, he is highly loved by God. I hope we hear more about David, I'd like to know how he is and I pray you break down that wall surrounding him... All is not as it should be with him!! Many secrets occur in families, I pray this boy is not being sexually abused by someone, it may or may not be a family member, but children, as you know, don't react as he is, without reason. Shine your love on him, I know you will. xxx

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    1. Crystal Mary: I, like you, amd paying careful attention to any cues there might be to his background and what he may have gone through. This story just happened Friday, so I will get to have him in class for the rest of the year. I do pray for opportunities to make those walls come down, and I hope this will be one of the first. Thank you for your kind words for him. He is very smart, and has so much potential. I hope by the end of the year we will have some true breakthroughs with him. xo
      P.S. David is his middle name as I don't use their given names in my stories, although I will certainly share with him what David means~

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  8. Dearest Shelly,
    What a history and I DO remember thinking how terrible wars are when I read the story about "Anne Frank" while little.
    Oh, "They didn't want this elderly woman to die alone, so they included her in their family." ☆☆☆ A Family Always!!! Touched to even the boys hardened heart. Racial matter is beyound my thoughts. However, when I've been to peace park of Hiroshima, I had the same sort of feeling of "why do we have war"!!! (oh, mind you that only saying the fear of the bomb)
    My father hasn't said anything about his experience being sent to the war but "only if I was born one year later!".
    Sending you lots of love and hugs from Japan, xoxo Miyako*

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    1. Orchid: I so feel for you dad and others who had to endure the horrors of war, my dear friend Miyako! I would love to visit the peace park of Hiroshima one day, and you are so right- why war?

      I'm so glad Sorella's story lives on and continues to touch people. Love and hugs back to you from Texas!

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  9. What a bittersweet story. I love it that you are so sensitive to your students.

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    1. Nonnie: I do so hope his heart is being mended. It was a powerful moment~

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  10. Sometimes the best response to a well-told incident silence as one absorbs the meaning and impact. This is such a time.

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  11. This pain is so deep, my tears burn as I try to hold them back.

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    1. Jenny: I really thought and prayed hard about posting this, because it is so painful. I just can't quit looking at the picture, especially at her eyes, and her dignity, even in the face of the horrible. I think that her act of selfless love and bravery, even with what they faced, is one that has such power and grace that it will continue to touch people for many generations to come. I've had a lump in my throat all afternoon, writing this and then reading the responses, but I believe we honor them by remembering what they did and knowing what good they still do, as in the case of my student.

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    2. I agree Shelly. We need to allow ourselves to feel the pain of this to honor their memories and to safeguard future generations from genocide.

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    3. Jenny: So true, and that's one of the reasons I take my kids each year, to make sure they understand and will hopefully do what they can to prevent this from happening again. I come away from this with the greater the evil, the greater the grace and good that can spring from it. I just hate that it had to happen in the first place.

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  12. From David's reaction, it looks like there is hope for him. I'm glad he has you for a teacher.

    What sad circumstances for Sorella and her family, but what an uplifting response she had even in the midst of it all.

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    1. jenny_o: I have great hopes that David will be able to turn things around this school year. And yes, she and her family truly show that even if we can't control what happens to us, we can control our reactions to it. I pray I have her grace and strength.

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  13. My goodness Shelly, I am sat here with tears in my eyes as I type this comment. None of us can imagine the horrors that people had to go through. I know that I visited Auschwitz several years ago and, my goodness, that was so moving as well. That photo certainly is a haunting one, but what a miracle that, even as her family faced certain death, she included the old lady with her family. I am just so glad that the poor woman wasn't just left on her own. We must pray that nothing like that ever happens again. Heartbreaking, and it proves that David must be a decent boy deep down, that it sparked emotion in him also. Beautifully written as always my friend.

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    1. thisisme: It guts me emotionally, every year when we do this Holocaust unit and read Anne Frank. It's so necessary, though, for kids to know what really happened there. It's our biggest hope of it not happening again.

      You are so very brave to visit Auschwitz. I want to go there terribly, but then again, I don't know that I could handle it. In the end though, we can't ignore what happened to them and I believe we honor their memory by learning of their fates. Thank you, my friend~

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  14. Dear Shelly, I have no words except "Thank you for sharing this poignant story with us." Peace.

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  15. As Shady said, I see dignity and bravery in these women's faces. Their goodness shines through in what they did for that woman. I pray David will find peace one day. I'm glad you are there to help him. I read Anne Frank's diary when I was a girl and was so moved. I'm grateful it was found after the war.

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    1. Belle: I am so moved by their kindness in the face of such hoorific circumstances. They truly inspire me.

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    1. Lydia: Even today as we recapped the field trip in class, I got teary when we talked about that picture. What they did is so powerful~

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  17. Wow, I'm a teary mess. You captured the sentiment and story in this powerful photo so well. I can't get over the boy's response. I loved how you wrote that you didn't have to wonder what he was feeling.

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    1. Saumya: That picture always impacts me in an emotionally powerful way. In fact, I've looked at it several times today, unable to quit thinking about them. I was so glad David let it grip his heart, too.

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  18. Shelly, wonderfully written and touching..... hugs my friend.

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    1. Jo-Anne: Thank you- it was about time, wasn't it?

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  20. Oh, what a story. I'm going to share it with my kids tomorrow. My kids are really into learning about that era of time. Not really that long ago. All a person can do is look at that picture and cry. So much in a picture.

    OUr computer is finally up and running!!! (yahoo!!) Now, I just need time to unload my pictures and post! I had to come here and read at least one of your posts!!
    Loving and missing you!

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    1. Jamie: SOOOO glad you are back!!! You are right- it wasn't all that long ago, and it hurts my heart to know some of these attitudes of hate are still going strong. That picture has really captivated me- so much to look at and think about. I'm glad your kids are into learning about that time. It is through educating this generation that we have our best hope of it never happenening again to future generations. Love you, too!

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  21. I could not take my eyes from that picture for the longest time. That kind of horror is too much too even allow myself to imagine. It's just too much. The idea that they held together as a family helps me to remember that we will hold together as families in th enext life as well. The people who did this will suffer greatly in eternity. I have no doubt.

    Poor David. I am so sad for him and for all the children of the world who walk about with broken hearts and a deep longing for family. I want to take all of them into my home and care for them as I would my own.

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    1. Crystal: It is such an emotional wringer for me when we go through this unit, but it's so necessary for them to know what happened. That these precious women so valued the family that they held onto it and had the grace to include another with them in their last moments will forever move me.

      I am like you. I wish I had the time and room to take in all the kids I see who need a family. It is tragic how many of rthem there are~

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  22. What a layered story. I have tears in my eyes from reading this post. Thank you for sharing it.

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    1. Theresa: I think that picture is one of the most moving I've seen of that time period. I still get a lump in my throat looking at tit.

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  23. Crystal Mary hit the nail on the head.
    This boy does not have a hardened heart or need an attitude adjustment...he needs a family. Something has happened to him..probably abuse of some sort. He really needs counseling. He is hurt and sad. I was once that way when my family was torn apart by divorce. Got through some tough times...10years of being sad...but found a beautiful man and made my own family who I would never hurt and abuse or leave.

    I hope some adults somewhere will reach out to David and let him know he can heal and find his own family to love someday. poor kid. breaks my heart.

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    1. Christine: What wisdom you have, and it's the kind that can only come from experience. I do hope and pray that David's truth comes out soon and that we are able to provide him with the help he obviously needs to heal. I, too, hope that he will one day have a family of his own, just like what you did.

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  24. wow. it's in each one of hearts, sometimes buried and repressed but never totally gone....the feeling we are all somehow connected to something more than ourselves.

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    1. Annmarie: We truly are connected, all of us, and it's when we lose that sense that horrible things like this happen.

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  25. Can I call this beautiful?

    Such pain, such horror...

    I love how you recognize the inner workings of your students, Shelly. You touch a lot of lives.

    Pearl

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    1. Pearl: I think what those women did, Mrs. Epstein in particular, is the purest of beauty. And I also think David's reaction was beautiful and pure, too. I love that even in the face of the vilest of evil, beauty can still sometimes be found.

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  26. What a beautiful moment with a student. Those times are priceless.

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    1. Missed Periods: I do hope it will pave the road for him to success and happiness.

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  27. That picture has long pierced my heart, too, Shelly, though I didn't know the backstory. What horror and heartbreak! And love and kindness in the face of such unimaginable suffering. I'm so glad you've been looking out for David. I'm sure it means a lot to him to have a teacher who cares so much and that, as time goes on and his trust builds, you will be able to reach him and help him even more.

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    1. Dr. Kathy: I am still just amazed and stunned that those women had the capacity to show such love in those last horrible moments. It so inspires me to be better than I am.

      As for David, I truly hope and pray this year will be one of healing from whatever it is that seems to be eating him up inside.

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  28. Shelly
    I cannot seem to find the way to leave a comment on your "final post" - so I thought I would leave it on this one.

    While this one is a tremendously affecting post itself, I was more affected by the fact that you are "saying goodbye" for now. I have enjoyed your posts, your writing style, and your faith and uplifting view of life in general. I hope you are leaving posting for positive reasons and not because something difficult has occurred that will prevent you from continuing to share yourself with your readers.
    Whichever it is, may God richly bless you and keep you and make His face to smile upon you.
    Until next time ... Marsha

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    1. Marsha: Thank you so very much for your kind words, my friend. I am, at some point, going to become just an occasional commenter and not write posts anymore, and was trying to compose my thoughts for a post for that, when I unintentionally hit publish instead of save. I pulled it, but somehow it still remains in the blog feed. Thank you for your very kind words, and for now, I am still here. :)

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  29. Both of those intertwined stories break my heart. Family is a powerful tool that can give us strength even in the face of unspeakable horror. Take it away, and it can break you. I hope this young man found the family he needed in those around him.

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    1. Karen: I don't know what I would do without my family; honestly, I can't fathom it. To those who find a strength in themselves (and I hope David will be one) to navigate those waters, I pray even more strength to them.

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  30. Wow. So glad he "got it." Too many kids feel alone and abandoned these days.

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    1. Jeanette: So am I! I hope it sticks with him. Thank you for dropping by!

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  31. I am moved beyond what words can say. Thank you. Thank you.

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    1. Cathy: It so deeply touches my heart, too~ thank you~

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  32. Hello Shelly, I'm visiting from BPOTW. That picture... I've just stared and stared and stared. Even though I've been to a Holocaust museum, every new image touches my heart and makes me try to imagine what it was like for all the victims. The little girl burying her face - heartbreaking.

    I hope and pray that your student, David, will have more opportunities to express his emotions; that he will grow up to be a good and loving man.

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    1. Anita: I stood in front of that picture and wept the first time I saw it. It still touches my heart deeply. Their dignity, their love, in the face of the horrific...so moves me. I often think of that little girl.

      Thank you for your prayers for David. He's moving forward, I think, a little at a time. I, too, pray he will grow to be a good and loving and fruitful man.

      Thank you for your visit- I'm headed to your blog-

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