Tuesday, March 13, 2012

The Poetic Boy

I've wanted to write this for a long time. I've wanted to not write this for just as long. It was difficult to get out, but I believe there's great good to be learned from it. My next post will be much lighter- promise.


"My son is going to be a lawyer, " she told me proudly. "The first time I saw him after he was born, I saw how beautiful and smart he was, and I knew then that he was going to do great things! I tell him that everyday, that he's going to be somebody." She smiled a smile that was missing a few teeth and her eyes had a too-bright look, but there was no diminishing the pride she had in her youngest son, Johnny Joe. She was his only parent and loved to indulge him in whatever she could get him.

As a brand new teacher, I enjoyed getting to know not just my students, but their families as well. Johnny Joe was tall and filled out for his age, especially in comparison to his peers. He looked tough and most of the other boys gave him a wide berth.

I knew deep down he was his mama's boy. He wrote artful, well thought poetry about her and about the beauty he saw around him that he showed only to me. When she disappeared from his life, he was devastated. By the time he was in 8th grade, he'd become a full fledged fighter, landing in ISS often for throwing his fists around as much as he used to throw adjectives in my class. He still had a soft spot in his heart, though, for me and other women teachers, no doubt vainly looking for a replacement for his mama. He'd stop by to say hello every now and then and to update me on his life.

I lost track of Johnny Joe after high school until I saw his picture in the paper. Now 20, he was accused of entering a convenience store, pulling a pocket knife on the store clerk, also 20 and a college student named Clay, and demanding all the money. Clay gave Johnny Joe all there was in the register, $25.65. Johnny Joe stabbed Clay ten times and in a coup de grace, slit Clay's throat and ran. All was captured on video tape from the surveillance camera. The images show Clay still alive and struggling to call 911 when Johnny Joe fled. He bled out before help arrived.

Filled with remorse, Johnny Joe himself called police from a nearby motel to turn himself in almost immediately afterwards. Prior to calling police, he made another phone call; to 911 to request help for Clay.

Johnny Joe was arrested and made a full confession.

The video tape provided stark support to Johnny Joe's admission.  The news carried interviews with Clay's parents, utterly shattered at the murder of their only child. A poignant moment with his mom included her telling the news reporter, "I'm so sad for us, because our family line ends here. We will never have the joy of knowing Clay as a full grown man. We'll never attend his wedding, never enjoy his children...," her voice trailed off. "But I'm so sad for the world, because I truly believe Clay would have made a difference in people's lives, had he lived." Clay's former teachers and pastor all told of what an upstanding young man he was and how deeply focused he was in his Christian faith.

Johnny Joe's trial ended with his guilty verdict and the sentence of death by lethal injection. In his appeals, he only fought against his death sentence. The case wound its way through the courts and his death sentence was upheld and an execution date set.

Three weeks before his scheduled execution, Clay's mother took the unprecedented step of requesting to meet with Johnny Joe. They spoke for four hours and Johnny Joe apologized profusely and asked forgiveness. In an amazing act, Clay's mother not only gave it, she also petitioned the parole board and governor for a commutation of Johnny Joe's sentence to life in prison. The mother who lost her son and the son who lost his mother found heartbroken peace with each other.

In a 9-8 vote, the commutation was denied and Johnny Joe was moved to the death chambers. Because of death row rules, the only human touch the condemned can have at this point is with the guards. Clay's mother was the last non-prison person to physically touch Johnny Joe when she stroked his hand at the end of their meeting.

On the morning of his death, Johnny Joe told his lawyer he found peace in Jesus although he was nervous. When they came to escort him to the gurney, Johnny Joe told them he wouldn't fight them, but he also wouldn't walk. They'd have to carry him, so they did.

His last words included a plea to the news media to be sensitive with his mother, who'd reappeared out of the shadows in the publicity of the case.

It took him longer to give his final statement than it did for him to die.

I grieved at Clay's gut wrenching murder. I cried almost the whole day Johnny Joe died, thinking of the boy with the poetic soul who chose to take such violent, irrevocable actions. My students every year hear of their stories.

Both families have sought peace in the wake of the horrible. Clay's parents started a foundation to help countless others in his name. The nephew who bears Johnny Joe's name does well in school and in life. His mom has found a better way and lives to bring good, as she can, now.

And stark lansdscapes laid bare by winter bring forth flowers again in the spring.

62 comments:

  1. You tell the story of a double tragedy with a silver lining. On the crime drama Criminal Minds they use the term "stressor" which is defined as a trauma or other powerful stimulus that triggers deviant behavior. Your story is a perfect example of a young man with great potential whose life went terribly wrong in the wake of a stressor. He was abandoned by his mother. Our local news is filled with stories of angry young men who commit violent crimes seemingly out of the blue. Nobody saw their heinous acts coming. They kept their feelings bottled up and had no safe outlet for their rage. Friends and relatives go on camera assuring us that he is "a good boy." I'm sure he was a good boy at an earlier stage of life. We all start out as innocent children, even serial killers. Somewhere along the line somebody or something failed them - a parent or guardian, a minister, a teacher, the educational system or government bureaucracy.

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    1. Shady: I've "what-iffed" this one to death. What if his mom had stayed, what if I could have been more of an influence. It won't change the facts of what happened, though. Johnny Joe, although a brawler, had no prior legal troubles. So yes, these things just come out of the blue sometimes. I'm so glad that both families have been able to seek the good.

      Thank you, my friend, for reading this today. It was so emotional for me to write that I was concerned it might be too heavy for people to want to read.

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  2. This is a tragic yet uplifting story. Clay died for Johnny so he could be saved. They will meet in heaven and love one another deeply. My grandson Craig was sometimes violent although he had a beautiful heart. Losing his father through desertion and then death by drugs had a profound affect on him. Then he had a step-father who didn't like him or his brother. He was full of anger at the world, but love for his family. He had no role model, no man to look up to and follow. He did some terrible things, things I will never share, but I loved him through it all and we all did until the day he died. We tried to get help for him, but you cannot force even a minor into treatment in our Province. They have to be willing to go.

    The day he died he had been on trial for fighting at a party. He was given a year's notice to 'keep the peace' and if he didn't he would be going to jail. He came to my husband and said, "Thank you for praying for me." He was terrified of going to jail, yet couldn't keep his temper when he drank. But I know he was asking for God's help because he thanked us and had told me he believed in God. After he died we had many spiritual things happen to show us he was saved. I believe God took my grandson because he was going to hurt someone else or end up in jail. He took him in a gentle way and the coroner said it wasn't drugs, just drinking too much, chest congestion and a soft sofa that helped to suffocate him. His mom said, "God couldn't have taken him in a more peaceful way."

    Oh Shelly, I probably shouldn't be writing so much about my dear grandson. It's just that I know people look at a young man who is tattooed, angry and wild and are disgusted. But there are reasons boys become like this like Shady said. None of his friends, and they were all on their own, wild and on drugs; none of them had fathers.

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    1. Belle: My heart is so touched by Craig and his life. People get so hung up on how someone, especially a young person looks, that they think that kid can only be one way, without truly know their heart. I had put up a picture of Johnny Joe when I first put up this post, but took it off because he looks so angry in it and I didn't want people to have that last impression of him.

      I, too, believe that Craig is at peace in heaven. God's ways are higher than ours and so often beyond our understanding. Craig was an amazing young man and I know he's touched so many in his death. His leagcy is strong. You are an amazing grandma for loving him and not judging him.

      I also believe like you said that Johnny Joe and Clay are at peace with each other right now, just as their families are finding peace here.

      Ii appreciate your heartfelt thoughts and comments so much, my friend. Hugs and love to you!

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  3. This is such a touching and moving story my friend. It just shows what can happen when someone is abandoned like that, especially by a mother. I don't suppose that mother ever thought that it would affect her son like that. Like you, I am so glad that both families have made some good come out of these tragic events.

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    1. thisisme: I wish I could shake some parents at times to let them know their actions have a huge and long lasting effect on their children. What is done without forethought and out of selfishness has such deep reprecussions.

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  4. Reality is often a sad reminder of the human condition, especially when the young are failed by those who bring them into this world. In my heart the "blame" is on his mother for all this pain and suffering caused to Johnny Joe and by Johnny Joe. . .Very powerful. You write beautifully.

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    1. Sweet Tea: There are some people who should never become parents, and yet they do, spreading damage the rest of us reap the harvest from. I have a much harder time forgiving his mom than Clay's mother did for Johnny Joe.

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  5. Whew! What a story, Shelly, as I am taking a deep breath! Shelly, I am glad you shared this story. I am reminded of Romans 8:28.

    And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose. KJV


    I just don't have it in me to be as forgiving as Clay's mother. I am not a good enough Christian. I am not certain whose nephew bears Johnny Joe's name but am wondering how this might affect the nephew psychologically as he grows older. (As I said, I am not a good enough Christian)

    These kinds of stories are so tragic and sad to me. We are all aware of our society's ills and the breakdown of the traditional famiy unit. I am afraid it is going to get worse before it gets better. Often I think back of how thankful I am that my family all ate together at the dinner table. Most times breakfast and lunch, too!

    Sunday I was listening to Charles Stanley's sermon on our consciences and can we trust them? He spoke of how our consciences are programed as we are growing up and beyond. It's very sad to think of how Johnny Joe's was programed. The act of forgiveness always reminds me of Saul (Paul)... may we never forget this transformation.

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    1. Cindy: I think all would be hopeless if we couldn't look at such horrors without the promises you mentioned in Romans.

      I so admire Clay's mom. She exemplifies love and mercy on a level I've never been challenged to or know that I could give.

      You are right- we have so much to be grateful for, and it's so easy to take those things for granted.

      I love the power and the long-lasting, ripple effects of forgiveness.

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  6. Like they used to say in olden days, we have to take care of the plant while it is growing not just when it is a seedling. who knows what kind of winds and storms young people have to face that they end up becoming aggressive not only to others but a lot of times to themselves as well. This is very touching and nerve chilling. Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Munir: You are so right, my friend. Too many wait until too late. Thank you for stopping by and reading on a heavy topic today. I will try to lighten things up on my next post!

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  7. I well understand that just so long as you wanted to write this story you also wanted not to write it. Yet it is a beautifully and thoughtfully written story of tragedy and redemption.

    As for the "what ifs," I am sure we all have them. But our influence for good or ill is ultimately overshadowed by the fact that each individual makes his or her own choices. Makes teaching, and parenting, dicey and difficult tasks, for in spite of our best efforts, responsibility belongs to the one who makes the choice.

    Blessings.

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    1. vanilla: You are right- a person's choices trump anything the other people in the person's life do, be they good choices or bad. I remind myself of that when I dwell too long on the what-if's of this.

      Thank you for stopping by!

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  8. Having a son makes this story so painful to read. How deeply tragic. What a gift that Clay's mother reached out to Johnny Joe. If one human being can decide to love in the face of such devastating pain, then God must be able to love us like that too. At one time, I had a cousin on death row somewhere, but no one in my family will tell me the story. The death penalty doubles the tragedy and cannot erase the first.

    It must have been so difficult for you as Johnny's teacher to learn of this. I know that each student has a place in your heart. I think it would be impossible not to get attached to students on some level. Sending a hug for all the tears you shed.

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  9. Jenny: I was surprised at how painful it was to look up the old news stories and see the pictures I looked at to get the facts correct for this post. Wow. I can't even think of a stronger word than tragic, but it is that at all levels. I think part of the stigma of having a loved one on death row is the complete shame that goes with it, the epic sense of failure.

    This, however, is one that is going to have good things coming from it. I am so thankful for that.

    And, I'm so thankful for your hug and friendship!

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  10. What a tragic story - it was very moving to read it.
    Big hugs, Eva

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    1. Eva: Thank you so much. It was really emotional thinking it all through to write the post. It still seems rather unreal.

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  11. Thank you for sharing this story with us. So tragic in so many ways,but what that mother did in talking with Johnny Joe was so selfless and Christlike that it's hard to read this and not walk away uplifted and inspired. It also makes me hopeful for her that she might have some measure of peace.

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    1. Nancy: I think that is the redeeming goodness of the whole thing- the extravagant forgiveness she gave him. I do believe that is the road to peace, and I pray that she has found it, along with his dad.

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  12. As with all of your stories I was glued to every word and touched by the events. It is so east to say what if in all tragic endings.
    I know you must have found out about way too many endings like this concerning students that have once been in your care. It has to hurt my sweet friend. Thanks for sharing this moving story today.

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    1. Odie: I so wish I could have those early days with him back and maybe work harder, so something different...

      There are so many sad endings out there, but I work hard to put my focus on all the happy ones. That really helps.

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  13. Shelly
    While this is a terribly tragic story, Johnny Joe is not the only poet in the story. So are YOU.

    What a talent you have for phrasing, for seeing, for sharing.
    .."the mother who lost her son and the son who lost his mother" ...WHAT an insightful and poetic line.
    God bless you and your talent, Shelly. ...Your friend and reader, Marsha

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    1. Marhsa: Thank you for your very kind words. I so wish this story had a different ending, but the one it has contains great lessons. And thank you for reading!

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  14. Forgiveness. What a beautiful story of forgiveness.
    This, to me, seems more of a story about a mother and her loving, sacrificial forgiveness and the peace it gave not only the one needing forgiveness but all who read and learn of the story.

    You told this wonderfully, as usual, and I'm glad you did.

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    1. Jamie Jo: Forgiveness is such a wonderful thing, not only for the forgiven, but for the forgiver. I truly believe the forgiveness she gave to him will ripple forth through generations to come.

      Thank you for reading this. I was hesitant to put it up at first because it was so heavy, so I really appreciate you seeing the good of the message of it.

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  15. Makes you wonder who Johnny Joe could have become if Clay's mother had been the one to nurture his soul. What a tragedy for all.

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    1. Gene Pool Diva: I've often wished there was a way to even out life a bit- why some kids have such good parents and other kids have parents who shouldn't even be raising a goldfish. It's one of those questions that won't ever get answered.

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  16. He probably could have been a lawyer, but he ended up on the other side of the law..How tragic. I often wonder where my little preschoolers will end up, especially those whose life parallel that of Johnny Joe.

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    1. Saimi: No mother ever looks at her newborn and thinks, I hope he grows up to be an executed murderer, and yet it happens. No one could ever look at those sweet babies you teach, at their age, and think such a horrible thing. It's such a conundrum about how to stop the cycle.

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  17. Again - another powerful story! And it illustrates perfectly the powerful influence of loving mothers and fathers and how much that influence is missed when it's absent. Tragic results, and yet, there were the beautiful blossoms of forgiveness and hope, letting us know that all is not lost, and that wherever they are, Johnny Joe and Clay are in loving, healing arms.

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    1. Karen: People who walk out on their kids cause such great damage. It really is a deeply selfish thing to do. But yes, as horrible as this story was, her forgiveness really set the wheels in motion for great things.

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  18. What a tragedy in all ways and how sad to have seen this poetic boy turn into a young man who turned to crime. It must have been excruciating for you, as a teacher who cared so much for him. I understand that agony of "what if" and the greatest one is "What if his mother had stayed in his life?" I can't imagine a circumstance where a parent could justify walking out of a child's life. The deep wounds led to further tragedy, not just for her family but also for the family of the young victim. Did it ever occur to the mother to apologize to her son? I'm glad that good has grown from this tragedy, like the first flowers of spring, but how sad that this all had to happen at all.

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    1. Dr. Kathy: Some things I will never understand in this lifetime. It was so painful for ma and I was on the periphery. I can't even imagine what it was like for Clay's and Johnny Joe's families.

      I do know that Johnny Joe declined to speak with his mom in his last phone calls. She did not try to contact him, either. I think she was fairly clueless that she had any part in the way he turned out.

      One thing about Johnny Joe: he didn't want to be buried at the prison, and no one in his family had the money to bring his body home for burial. So he mounted a furious campaign to raise money from prison for his own burial. He offered pictures he drew of Native Americans for sale and directed that the money be sent to an account administered by his mom.

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  19. I was feeling really upbeat before I read this tragic story and I so can understand the "what if" factor it is so sad that someones life could go so wrong

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  20. Jo-Anne: I was really hesitant about putting it up because it is so heavy, but I hope the good from the forgiveness part outweighs the terrible bad. There's good to celebrate and I appreciate you reading it. Don't lose your upbeat mood, please! :)

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  21. Dearest Shelly,
    Oh, Shelly; I don't think I can comment well in English (as usual), but at first I wish to say I feel so sorry for your grief thinking about Johnny Joe!!! And of course for all the family of both boys. I was moved by reading the last paragraph, knowing what both mother had done. I wonder why his mother disappeared from him, or couldn't they have contact each other...

    "what-if"...
    By reading this post, I was thinking about my late bro. He also was a mother's son and after he lost our mother with cancer year 2,000 (he did his best to take care of her), he also tried all he could to help our father and sought the best way for father. I helped him with all my best; but after we did 7th year memorial service, I could see some changes in his mind. (he must have thought finished doing all he should have done. As we kind of believe that after 7th ceremony, people can be in heaven or with Buddha.) I still think many "what-ifs"; I might be able to save him. What if he had his own family...
    Oh, I will stop this long comment, haha. Each one of us may have to live with some these "what-ifs".
    Love you always, xoxo Miyako*

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    1. Miyako: My dear friend, you always comment so eloquently and so kindly.

      I am so very sorry about your brother. The what-if's are so very difficult, especially in something like this, where he's dealing with so much. You, my friend, did all you could. After years of asking why and what if about things, I've come to the conclusion that there are some things that do not have an answer in this life and we will have to accepting and wait until we get them in the next.

      I'm so sorry for your sorrow with your brother. He must have been a very special man to do all he did and to love and serve your parents so much.

      Please take care of youself, my sweet friend!

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  22. We are all so profoundly connected to one another, in ways we can't always see.

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  23. Stephen: Too many people just don't get that. So very sad.

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  24. Wow, Shelly, I can't imagine it all. What a story; so much sadness, so much grief, so much pain, so much suffering, but yet hope in it with what Clay's parents have done to try to make beauty from ashes with the foundation to help others. I was struck in reading the story that Johnny Joe did have remorse and called for help for Clay and turned himself in; not taking the route so many others do with saying "not guilty" when there is 100% evidence they are guilty. Its just such a sad situation around; I have to say I would like to be like Clay's mom if ever in that situaion and forgive, as hard as that was, I am sure it helped somewhat with the healing and grieving and not allowing bitterness to creep in. Very impactful story; thank you for writing it.

    I've been making tentative steps back into blogging, so glad I took the time to check out your entry today; again, very impactful.........

    betty

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  25. Betty: So good to see you here again! I agree that the good thing that came out of this was how Clay's parents reacted to it and the blessing of her forgiveness. Johnny Joe did immediately regret what he had done, and accepted full responsibility for it. A very mixed bag of sadness and finding good in the sorrow here.

    Welcome back!

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  26. Oh wow Shelly. How poignant your story is and even more so because it is real. I wanted to thank you for your kind words you left on my post for Holden. She was a dear fur ball and we miss her very much. Your kindness has helped my heartache.
    Hugs~

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    1. Sush: How sweet of you to pop by. You all have been in my thoughts and prayers since your heart rending post. Hugs and love back to you, my friend~

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  27. Heart touching .... and What the enemy means for harm the LORD can and will take and make it work for good....though Clay died to young...His memory still lives and though Johnny Joe heart became cruel yet in his mother's heart she holds the poetic boy with a warm heart...isn't it amazing this thing we call "mother's love"?!

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    1. Rhonda: Yes, whatever is meant for evil and destruction He can turn for good. It always makes me a little wistful whenever I think of Clay and Johnny Joe. Although this was so very tragic, there are good things finally coming from it, and for that I am thankful.

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  28. oh my goodness ...what an incredible story.
    mercy is Gods greatest attribute.

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  29. momto8: I'm always, forever, and completely grateful for His mercy. I aim to show more of it in my own life.

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  30. Well told, Shelly.

    I grew up in a number of trailer courts and have former friends/neighbors who have gone on to do violent, horrible things. It is not hard to remember the children they were: the boy who protected me at the bus stop, the girl who wished us to call her "Bambi" in the hope that her home life would be forgotten and a gentler, prettier view of her be adopted. It is hard to reconcile that with the disappointments and inequities that then happened that turned them into angry, jealous people.

    We all start out innocent.

    My heart goes out to Clay and his untimely and violent death. My heart, my awe, and my gratitude to his mother for her incredible grace.

    Pearl

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    1. Pearl: I'll never understand what causes some kids who go through difficult childhoods with poor parenting to become stronger as a result, and others to snap and do terrible things.

      I got a lump in my throat reading about Bambi, and her quest for a gentler, prettier view of herself. If I could have one huge wish, it would be that all kids start off with a loving, stable homelife.

      How I wish it could be so.

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  31. Dear Shelly,
    Thank you for stopping by my blog today and leaving a comment. That led to my coming to your blog and I find myself speechless before the tragedy you shared with us. The mystery of life for me is why one child triumphs over difficulties and another child falls victim to his or her background. Children come to us with open hearts but life so often presents them with happenings--like Johnny Joe's mother leaving--that they cannot overcome.

    Clay's mother is an example of a woman who can forgive wholeheartedly. She was, I"m sure, a blessing in Johnny Joe's life.

    Peace.

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    1. Dee: I will never understand what the difference is in kids who become stronger with adversity and the others who snap. Clay's mom is such an inspiration to me. Johnny Joe declined to talk with his own mom in his last phone calls, but he did talk with Lana, Clay's mom. Thank you for stopping by- I was engrossed in your blog.

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  32. As sad story indeed.
    Good writing.

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  33. This is a sad tale yet very well written and with great sensitivity. I wonder why Johnny Joe's mother walked away from the son she loved so much? She would now have a deep grief to bare. I pray when you tell this story to your students it makes them think! Perhaps by telling it, others are prevented from following that same path? I pray so. xx

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    1. Crystal Mary: I believe she was caught up in her addictions, and there were several. And yes, I pray the same thing when I tell them- that it will make a very lasting impression on them. The finality of the death chamber always seems to make them really think. Thank you, my friend!

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  34. Shelly, Thanks for your sweet comments on my blog. I'm so sorry to hear about your sister. I will pray for her and for you. As difficult as things were for me, I often felt more sorry for my extended family, especially my mom. It's SO hard to watch someone you love go through something terrible, and feel so helpless. But as I'm sure you know, your love and prayers are just what she wants and needs. Every little word of support was huge to us! Good luck to you both. The Lord IS good. And modern medicine can do miraculous things. So hang in there! And keep me posted. Love, Nancy

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    1. Nancy: Thank you so much. It's just been a big thing for us all to wrap our heads around, and your blog has been so very helpful to me in dealing with what she's going through. It also gives me so much hope. Thank you!
      Love,
      Shelly

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  35. Oh so very sad..... appreciate you sharing the story. Blessings.

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  36. Your story was so moving, so heartbreaking, and so well-written. My hubs is on his way home, and he's going to find me a very unsexy mess of hiccups and snuffles. Gosh darn you, Shelly, for being that good!

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    1. Sadie Jane: Thank you for your very kind words- so sweet! And, didn't mean to mess up your evening with your hubs- think happy thoughts- think happy thoughts...

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