Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Show and Tell

Just as surely as the elephant herds migrate through the Serengeti, the teachers began their daily trek from the cafeteria across the playground back to the classrooms after lunch. The new first grade teacher, Amy, lingered behind, feeling the effects of eating a yogurt and salad in 19 minutes flat, the full teacher lunch period.

The middle school boys enjoyed their rowdy game of football near the sidewalk. Amy jumped to the side to avoid an errant pass. "Boys, be careful!" she called. Her stomach felt queasy, and another tiny flutter at her belly gave her pause. She kept moving, though, glad that show and tell was next on the agenda after lunch instead of an involved lesson.

The fluttering at her belly gave way abruptly and she felt an odd weight at her ankles. Her horror at what lay at her feet was amplified by the large crowd of teenaged boys chasing around her. There, puddled at her shoes, was her black, lacy slip, newly bought from the lingerie department at JC Penney.

Her languid thought patterns erupted to full strength in a nanosecond. Before any of the middle school crowd saw, she kicked the slip under the bushes to her right, hardly breaking stride. She'd have to retrieve it much later, after school, when no one was around.

Amy rounded the corner to her room and heaved a sigh of relief and thankfulness that she'd dodged that bullet. What a day. Fridays always seemed veer in different directions than the other days of the week.The first graders soon flooded into the room. She checked the roster of who had something for show and tell this week.

First, there was Samantha, who told a tale about her chubby baby brother. Then there was Mikey,  as unpredictable as a tornado. Still in recent memory was the time he brought one of his dad's hidden magazines for show and tell.  Amy leaped higher over a desk than she thought possible that day to intercept it just before Mikey unfurled the centerfold. This time, though, he only had a shiny toy truck to display.

Teresa was next and showed how her mom had French braided her hair. Brandon was the final one. Brandon was a forgetful yet imaginative boy who often came to school with his hair pointed in wild directions, looking as if he had just rolled out of bed. He usually forgot to bring anything for show and tell, so Amy asked, "Honey, did you remember to bring something today?"

Brandon nodded excitedly, clutching his backpack tightly to his chest. "Yes, yes, I have something really special!" he exclaimed. He stepped carefully to the front of the room. All eyes were on him as he set his backpack down and slowly reached into its depths. Like a magician pulling a rabbit from a hat, he drew forth his prize with a flourish and held it over his head for all to see.

"It's a pirate ship flag! I found it by the bushes on the playground! They must have lost it!" he happily shared as he waved it over his head, to the delighted oohs and ahhs of his classmates.

It could have been.

It could very well have been a flag for a pirate ship, if pirates used lacy, black nylon fabric with an elastic waistband for their flags.

66 comments:

  1. Lol that was a good one.Brandon would have been hailed as a hero. Kids and show and tell are so wonderful, you never know next what it will be. This story reminds me how my Aunty once had her panties fall to the ground in a busy shopping centre. This was back in the 1950's. She stepped out of them and kept on walking.. I would have died with embarrassment..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Crystal Mary: I think I also would have died!!! What else can you do, though, but keep on walking! Poor Aunty-

      Delete
  2. I knew where this was going but I just had to keep reading of course, as the son of a Kindergarten teacher.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. esboston: My mom was a kindergarten teacher, too, and I give the highest kudos to those early childhood teachers. More power to them!

      Delete
  3. LOL! Too cute. Saved by the imagination of a first grader! But then one wonders what happened to the slip when he brought it home after the end of the day, what adventure he told his mom and what she thought of the "pirate flag". Loved Mikey's show and tell from the past; that must have been an adventure too! Never a dull moment in the life of a teacher.

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That corgi: I didn't hear from her what she did about the slip, but at least it was with innocent 1st graders! Mikey's dad was mortified, as he should have been-

      Delete
  4. A smile on my face, and flashbacks to many years ago with the kiddos. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. vanilla: As I get closer and closer to retirement, I think of little incidents like this one and realize how much I'm going to miss it when I leave.

      Delete
  5. I'm laughing, yeah, I'm laughing!! How hilarious is that! Poor Amy looks like she'll be buying herself a new slip! I can't wait to see what Brandon's mom is going to say when her some comes home with a new flag! HA very funny, very funny indeed!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Saimi: I'll bet you see things like this all the time with your little kiddoes- gotta love the imagination they have!

      Delete
  6. So funny! It's great his mind went right to a pirate ship!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bossy Betty: Yes, what a great thing he didn't tell everyone he found the teacher's slip in the bushes. The imagination of a young child is a great thing!

      Delete
  7. Goodness gracious, Shelly. This is not the first time one of your stories has revolved around a wardrobe malfunction. (Can I use that expression w/o you unfriending me? LOL)

    When I was a kid in school I regarded my teachers as super human and infallible. I assumed that they had it all together. It never occurred to me that teachers had feelings, fears and insecurities, that they had personal lives and personal problems and that they often showed up and performed their duty even though they felt ill or were dealing with some type of side issue or distraction. They never let it show.

    Your blog is teaching me a lesson, Shelly. I am learning a lot about teachers as real people.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shady: Even though I grew up with my dad as a superintendent and my mom and grandma as teachers, I had the idea they were more like machines or fortresses, without the human foibles the rest of us have. Now, I see even moreso how human we very much are! I think it's a good thing from time to time to let the students know there is a human being behind the teacher persona. Thanks for stopping by today!

      Delete
    2. I should clarify that "even though I grew up with my dad as superintendent and my mom and grandma as teachers, I had the idea that TEACHERS AS A WHOLE were more like machines or fortresses...", not my parents!

      Delete
  8. That was a funny story of course at the expense of that unfortunate teacher. "19" minutes for lunch!! I simply can't comprehend that Shelly. No one should be rushed that much when eating a meal. Teachers have a much tougher job than we usually think they do. They are our heros.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Odie: It's actually 25 minutes for lunch, but there's a 3 minute passing period at each end where the halls have to be monitored. You are so sweet- thank you for your kind words about teachers!

      Delete
  9. Hahahaha! A pirate flag! But what about the missing Jolly Roger?

    Too funny Shelly! Elliot was just now saying that he's ready to do his online lessons while I was reading your post. I told him that he will have to wait because I'm reading something important. That's how I feel about your stories. They keep me glued to the screen! I'm like a kid watching Saturday morning cartoons when I visit La Tejana!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jenny: Knowing him, he probably drew one on himself- he's quite the creative kid!

      I feel very honored and humbled at your words. Thank you so much! And tell Elliot I love his poem!

      Delete
  10. Dear Shelly, a wonderful story illustrating what truly does happen to teachers during the course of their careers in the classroom. Poor Amy, but lucky Brandon to have discovered a pirate's flag!

    Peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dee: I just love the way kids' imaginations work- there is never a boring moment!

      Delete
  11. Ya gotta love the innocence of youth... great story. I'm another one who is really enjoying seeing the human side of teachers and teaching. It's very humbling, and we owe all of you great ones a huge debt. I guess we just pay it forward as best we can.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Karen: Thank you for your very kind words about teachers. I think most teachers would tell you they really do enjoy it!

      Delete
  12. All I can think is that there has to be a joke in here somewhere about pirate booty. *groan* Funny story though!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nancy: Oh, I wish I'd thought of that!!! Ha!!!! That would have been the perfect way to end it. I'll tease Amy about it for sure!

      Delete
  13. I loved this story, Shelly. True stories are funnier than fiction. My favorite teacher was in 2nd grade. I think it was because she looked just like Snow White.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Belle: I love that she looked like Snow White! I think so many younger kids have such sweet notions of their teachers (actually, even some of the older kids do, too).

      Delete
  14. It would be "interesting" pirates who would use a flag like that. "Shiver me timbers, ye metrosexuals!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stephen: Ok -that made me laugh really hard!

      Delete
  15. Oh that was rich!! lol
    Thanks for the giggle on the bleary, dreary, rainy day.
    Real stories are always the funniest!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sweet Tea: I just love "kid" stories the best! They are so unpredictable-

      Delete
  16. What a delightful story today! A pirate flag indeed - and why not. That's probably what it seemed like to little Brandon. He must have been so thrilled with his find! I love your stories, and you tell them so well.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thisisme: Bless his heart- he was so excited he finally had something for show and tell, and then to have it be as exotic as a pirate flag...bless his heart.

      Delete
  17. Dang! There goes that new slip, huh? hahah! I'm sure she didn't tell him it was hers, right?

    I wonder what his parents thought?
    OH, the innocence of a child!!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Jamie: She convinced him to leave it in the room, because you never know if the owner of the flag might be coming back to look for it. Ha! She did a lot of quick thinking and talking that day-

    ReplyDelete
  19. Oh my God, the poor slip, or poor Amy rather. I wonder how long we women have to worry about delicate things like slips etc. Here in New York, women have taken matters into their own hands and very well wear pant suits and with dress wear a full slip so there are no chances of slipping.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Munir: You women in New York are very smart! We all should start doing the same-

      Delete
  20. That's exactly the kind of flag I would use if I were a pirate.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Missed Periods: I'm sure it would attract much attention!

      Delete
  21. Dearest Shelly,
    Wow, what a happening to her, LoL And I liked the way Belle said "True stories are funnier than fiction" very much; as I thought this is exactly what I thought for this post.  Well, I wondered the word ”capper”I checked with pc dic will be OK in this case. Because this is a true story "punch line" won't be suitable, will it? I was to say that I never expected this last scene. Haha, Brandon must have thought it is a lucky day♪

    Anyway we don't have "show and tell" at school in Japan. When I first knew this program in western country, I wish we adopt it as well!!! I thought this is SO good for creative mind to children!!!
    I enjoyed all of this story, really refreshing to know how it goes♡♡♡
    Lots of love and many Hugs to you, xoxo Miyako*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Miyako: Amy certainly wasn't expecting that turn of events with her slip! I laughed so hard when I heard the story. Brandon was very excited that he finally had something for Show and Tell, and that it was something the other kids really envied him for.

      I love Show and Tell. I guess that's what we still do with our blogs.

      Thank you, my friend- have a wonderful day!

      Delete
  22. oh dear..guess it wasn't really show and tell for the teacher!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. momto8: Not in the way she planned!

      Delete
  23. Hahaha!! Is this story TRUE? That is so awesome. I loved it. The part I didn't love was imagining a 1st grader bringing a dirty magazine to school. First graders care about that stuff already? Say it ain't so!! My oldest is in first grade...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kelley: Yep- she teaches with me. I don't think the little boy was into the dirty magazine so much as he knew it was something his dad prized and so he thought it would be cool to bring to school.

      The dad was mortified. As he should be!

      Delete
    2. Yes! The dad should be mortified. I would be super annoyed if my son was sitting by that kid. That is putting it lightly. Anyway, this was a perfect post for #findingthefunny. Thanks for linking it up! I needed this smile again.

      Delete
  24. Oh, my....I'll bet that teacher wanted to just quickly walk the plank and disappear! :)

    Another great story, Shelly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Marsha: I think all of us that heard it from her had the same thought, I'm so thankful it wasn't me!

      Delete
  25. Great story :) I can imagine she just wanted to disappear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eva: I think she regrets having told any of us!

      Delete
  26. ROFL.....to many Johnny Depp Pirate shows....LOL this is too funny Shelly ...too funny

    ReplyDelete
  27. Rhonda: That's exactly who I pictured when I first heard it!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Oh, this is too funny! A lacy pirate ship flag--what would a parent think???? Thanks for the laugh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Theresa: I love the imagination of a child!

      Delete
  29. My daughters a teacher - and that was funny. Do you know there is no more time at school for show and tale? Sad. sandie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sandie: Oh, that is terrible! There is so much good that comes from it- I hope they find room for it again.

      Delete
  30. Fiction created from bits of reality? Or maybe you have a fabulous imagination ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Miss Footloose: I wish I could take credit! With all the teasing she's gotten over this, I do think Amy is regretting ever having told us about it...

      Delete
  31. The song is ended, but the melody lingeries on....

    ReplyDelete
  32. I don't know which entertains me more- that Amy casually tried to kick the slip under the bushes, noting that she would retrieve it much later, or that a kid in her very own class found it. Excellent. Found you at finding the funny.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sparkling: Thank you for stopping by! When Amy told us about it and how she kicked it under the bushes, I was already rolling with laughter. It was the icing on the cake that the little boy found it!

      Delete

I love to hear from you! I also love to comment back.