Tuesday, August 26, 2014

A Hospital Tale

(I ask your pardon if I've been slack in visiting your blog. I spent most of last week in the hospital, hosted by my ruptured appendix. All is on the mend now, and I'm working as fast as all my little meds will allow me to get caught up. There's no place like home.)

The small taps on the door stirred me from the quasi slumber of the surgically repaired.

Even as my eyes worked to focus in the early morning hours, the door pushed open carefully.

"Good morning, hon, my name is Wanda and I'm with the hospital volunteers," an elderly woman with a lacquered beehive introduced herself as she moved towards my bedside. She consulted her clipboard and flipped a few pages, tapping an area at the bottom of a sheet.

"And you are George, " she proclaimed with a sweet smile.

I was drug addled, hooked to more lines and tubes than I knew what to do with and unsure of the day and year, but I was pretty sure I wasn't George.

"Um, no, I'm Shelly. But it's nice to meet you."

She frowned and underlined several things furiously on her clipboard. She pulled cat eye glasses up from the chain on her neck, fixed them on her nose, and carefully studied what was written there, tapping again in finality.

Slowly, with the enunciation of an elementary teacher, she said with a determined smile, "You...are...George...Morris."

I'd seen myself accidentally in the mirror the night before. I had hobbit hair, an odd swipe of Betadine on my neck, no earrings, no mascara, no lipstick, but...but...George?

"No ma'am, I am Shelly. Shelly."

She leaned in a closer. "You are in room 439?"

I exhaled and smiled. "Well, this is actually room 438."

She shook her head in small swipes side to side and made soft, disapproving tsks with her mouth.

"Hon, you'll need to call the office here and straighten things out. They have you under the wrong name and in the wrong room!"

64 comments:

  1. It helps in trying situations to have a sense of humor, and you obviously haven't lost yours. My appendix exploded when I was in high school so I can sympathize with what you're going through. Take care.

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    1. Stephen: Those appendixes can surely cause a lot of disproportionate trouble. Thanks~

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  2. I'm sure that bizarre nocturnal visit filled you with confidence about our healthcare system, Shelly. I was very sorry to learn that you needed emergency medical assistance due to a burst appendix. Thank goodness you came through the crisis in good shape and are home and on the mend.

    This was no doubt a very painful, frightening and inconvenient episode, but I'm sure it has allowed you to realize how many genuine friends you have who care deeply about you. I wish you a full and speedy recovery, dear Shelly!

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    1. Shady: Thank you so much, friend. And there's nothing like a first hand look into health care to make me know I want to do all I can to stay healthy!

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  3. How funny! Except, of course, the part about your appendix rupturing ... I'm glad to hear you are on the mend. Take good care of yourself, meaning, let others take care of everything you usually do, and concentrate on resting and healing. I had emergency eye surgery for a retinal tear in early July, so I know what I'm talkin' about - just do it!

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    1. jenny_o: Oh, I hope you are recovering well! Wow- a retinal tear is a major thing- please take care!

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  4. What a strange encounter. Did it really occur or was it a product of medications you were on? I am glad to hear you are on the mend, and I hope that lady found George.

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    1. Terra: Strange indeed! And it really happened. My husband saw her in the hall later, looking carefully at room numbers.

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  5. Best laugh I've had today! Though of course I am sorry about the circumstances that put you in that predickapickle. GWS, Shelly.

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  6. Oh, Shelly, so sorry to hear about your health emergency! That can be very serious, but I'm glad to hear you're on the mend. In the meantime, it's wonderful that you could find humor in a visit from the addled volunteer. It IS funny ...but a little scary, too. I hope only the volunteer -- and not any of the health professionals -- was confused.

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    1. Dr. Kathy: Oh my goodness- yes, and that was forefront in my mind the rest of the time!

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    1. Grace: My husband is still calling me George!

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  8. That's adorable. I'm so sorry you required surgery, and so glad you are recovering. I had surgery when I was in high school. I woke in the middle of the night to find a naked man poking my arm and trying to get into bed with me. I flew to the nurses' station. They thought I was dreaming, but, oh yes, a patient from another room really had wandered into my room. He was confused, and the nurses put him back to bed. It was the first time I ever saw a naked man. Woo-hoo! (not)

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. Janie: Now that would be a wakeup call- good grief! This made me really laugh- thanks!

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  9. You are pardoned! I was so sorry to read about your loss, but really glad you lost it in a good place! Too funny about the volunteer!

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    1. Nonnie: Bless her heart- she probably found George and tried to tell him he was Shelly!

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  10. In my drug induced haze, I probably would've started to cry, "I've been turned into a George." :) Get well soon!

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    1. Simone: Good to hear from you! And yes, it definitely had me questioning what they had done to me~

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    1. Vee: And if laughter is the best medicine, she helped me along with my recovery!

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  12. Rofl!!!! This is a hoot....ummmm, George!!!

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    1. HOOTIN ANNI: I need to change my avatar pic, I think...

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  13. LOL! Surgery isn't fun, but I'm glad you're on the mend. Take good care of yourself, George, and get well soon!

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    1. Carol: George does have a certain ring to it....

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  14. What a hoot! Fortunately, she did come to prod, poke or puncture.

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  15. Oh my gosh, Shelly!! I'm so glad you're okay. A ruptured appendix is a serious emergency and my heart stopped when I first read those lines on your post. I'm not surprised you handled your situation with humor :) Praying for your prompt recovery.

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    1. Saumya: If it didn't take so long to tell, I'd tell you the whole story of what happened in this hospital. It is still bothering me. And thank you!!!

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  16. What can one say I am sure you know who you are good thing she didn't come to take blood or to cart you off to have a vasectomy

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  17. Haha, oh Shelly you do know how to make me laugh! If you're up to writing a post, then I'm happy you must be feeling better - Hope you continue to heal!

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  18. Well I would never in my wildest dreams think you looked like a George:) Oh Shelly I am so sorry you went through this you must have been very frightened as well as your family. Take care of yourself George. You are too pretty to be even remotely thought of as George. I know him he looks nothing like you:) Get well soon. Hug B

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    1. Buttons: I'm still laughing at the end of your comment- thank you!

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  19. OMG! Shelly, I DO hope you will be able to recover fully SOON. And hope have a plenty of rest being lazy, you deserve it. I remember my late mother had the same surgery half a century ago and I worried a lot :-)
    Oh, I learned the word "addled" and she was a 'addled volunteer'. I thought it was good that you were not as addled as she♪

    I hope you will have restful week, dear friend.
    Sending Lots of Love and Hugs from Japan to my Dear friend in America, xoxo Miyako*

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    1. orchid Miyako: Oh, thank you, my dear friend! I am feeling better every day. And addled is probably what that poor lady was!

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  20. Did you know that I am no longer able to watch television with anything more than a bored and passing interest? It is because of your storytelling. Popular shows are not nearly as humorous or rich as a good Shelly tale. This is a prime example! I'm choking on my coffee, still sputtering while typing. I wonder what she planned to do for George? Yikes! The clip board and the tsk tsk...the beehive and the Hobbit hair!

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    1. Jenny: I wish you could have been there. She was bound and determined that the information on her clipboard, coupled with what she believed to be true, was unshakeable. Bless her heart- I wonder if she found George next door and gave him the Shelly treatment...

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  21. Oh, hon -- and I love saying that -- you're in the wrong room! Ha ha ha. Shelly, you fell outside of the box, and that woman was determined to set you right.

    :-)

    Uff da!!

    Pearl

    Hugs from Minneapolis

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    1. Pearl: I'm sure she could right a multitude of wrongs in this world with her clipboard and those glasses. Uff da! (I'm growing very fond of saying that~)

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  22. As long as they didn't take out the wrong part...or George's. Here's to a speedy recovery.

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    1. Linda: Thank you. I am glad I won't have to worry with my appendix ever again, although perhaps George might...

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  23. OMG! I am so sorry to hear that! Mine was minutes away from rupturing when I had emergency surgery when I was ten. Sending healing energy and positive thoughts. *hugs* :)

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    1. Rita: They said it's unusual for someone my age to have appendix troubles, that they are usually more the age you were!

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  24. Sorry about your appendix! That had to hurt! Hope you're feeling much better now. What a crazy experience in the hospital, though!

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    1. Sherry: Crazy is the perfect word for it!

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  25. Oh, I can so relate to this post and your recent malaise, as you know! The constant check of asking your name and date of birth, especially on the night I had a high temperature and was slightingly delirious! I'd be afraid to ask the question but what was George in hospital for?! I'm glad she didn't persist and treat you for whatever his ailment was! Hope you're completely on the mend :-) xx

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    1. jazzygal: Oh, I thought of you while I was in there, my friend- I so hope your healing comes quickly!

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  26. That you can take something as serious as a ruptured appendix and make us all laugh is a HUGE compliment to you. I hope you're turning somersaults by now, dear lady!

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    1. Jocelyn: Almost, but not quite yet. Hopefully, soon!

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  27. Dear Shelly, despite surgery you are still meeting people and finding a story to tell. Amazing. And I laughed out loud and I'm still grinning broadly. Thank you! And take of yourself well as you recuperate. Peace.

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    1. Dee: It was so funny, and although it hurt my belly to laugh, I really had to guffaw after she left!

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  28. Shelly! I'm sorry to hear about your appendix, & I hope you're feeling better! I also hope that poor Wanda eventually found George.

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    1. Amy: Oh, I hope she did, too. I hope old George still has his appendix...

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  29. Hi Shelly!! Thanks for always brightening our day with your writing :-) I hope you feel better soon!!

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    1. Optimistic: Better and better each day- thanks!

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  30. Hi Shelly- i hope you got a good laugh out of that and that it didn't hurt to laugh. Sorry to hear about your bum appendix. Good riddance, I always say. Hope you are feeling better now.

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    1. Chicken: It did hurt to laugh, but it struck me as so funny that I had to. And much better now- thanks!

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  31. Hopefully they took the right part out? Not George's?

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    1. Jamie: Ha! I don't know what old George was in for, but I do hope he still has his appendix...

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  32. Thank goodness that lady didn't come in with anything sharp!
    I'm sorry that you had to be there and hope that you are on the mend.
    This was a great post. Funny and well written.
    Heal well, Shelly.

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  33. Pat: Thank you- and I do hope that little lady finds a job arranging flowers or something else there!

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