Now that we are on the second round of teenagerdom, I've learned some things about how not to embarrass your teenager I thought I'd pass on.
1. If you are in a car with your teenaged daugher, waiting for her friend with the windows down, be careful. Should a sweet little cat and kittens walk by, and you meow at them repeatedly to get their attention (because you have a really good meow), and your teenager rips out her ear buds and asks, horrified, "Please tell me you are not making random animal noises out the window where everyone can hear you," always answer her in the negative. Less stress for her.
2. If you are in the mall on a family outing and your teenager is with a group of her friends, do not clasp hands with your husband, scream and run towards her, enveloping her in a two parent embrace. Too much affection draws unwanted attention.
3. In a gathering of your extended clan of relatives, do not offer advice to new parents on how you cleared up your teen's constipation when she was a baby. At least not in her hearing range.
4. When shopping with your teen, do not hold up a bra anywhere near your chest to gauge its size. Also, do not hold one up near her chest, either. Underclothes should stay hidden, even if they are not yet bought.
5. When picking her up from school, if you are wearing no makeup, old pajama pants with a warm- up top, and yeti slippers, do not exit your car to say hello to one of her teachers, even if the teacher is one of your friends. Your appearance reflects on your teen.
6. Do not let your husband wear a giant sized sombrero when he goes in to pick your teen up from the movies. Also, when she exits the movie with her friends, do not let him throw down said hat and do a fair rendition of the Mexican Hat Dance. Some kids do not have an appreciation of culture yet.
7. If your teen and two of her friends attend a women's exercise class with you and some of the other women make jokes about saggy boobs, you are not to join in or even laugh at saggy boob jokes. Teens do not have saggy boobs and do not want their moms to even be thinking about that in front of other people.
What is your best advice on how not to mortify your teenagers?