Now that we are on the second round of teenagerdom, I've learned some things about how not to embarrass your teenager I thought I'd pass on.
1. If you are in a car with your teenaged daugher, waiting for her friend with the windows down, be careful. Should a sweet little cat and kittens walk by, and you meow at them repeatedly to get their attention (because you have a really good meow), and your teenager rips out her ear buds and asks, horrified, "Please tell me you are not making random animal noises out the window where everyone can hear you," always answer her in the negative. Less stress for her.
2. If you are in the mall on a family outing and your teenager is with a group of her friends, do not clasp hands with your husband, scream and run towards her, enveloping her in a two parent embrace. Too much affection draws unwanted attention.
3. In a gathering of your extended clan of relatives, do not offer advice to new parents on how you cleared up your teen's constipation when she was a baby. At least not in her hearing range.
4. When shopping with your teen, do not hold up a bra anywhere near your chest to gauge its size. Also, do not hold one up near her chest, either. Underclothes should stay hidden, even if they are not yet bought.
5. When picking her up from school, if you are wearing no makeup, old pajama pants with a warm- up top, and yeti slippers, do not exit your car to say hello to one of her teachers, even if the teacher is one of your friends. Your appearance reflects on your teen.
6. Do not let your husband wear a giant sized sombrero when he goes in to pick your teen up from the movies. Also, when she exits the movie with her friends, do not let him throw down said hat and do a fair rendition of the Mexican Hat Dance. Some kids do not have an appreciation of culture yet.
7. If your teen and two of her friends attend a women's exercise class with you and some of the other women make jokes about saggy boobs, you are not to join in or even laugh at saggy boob jokes. Teens do not have saggy boobs and do not want their moms to even be thinking about that in front of other people.
What is your best advice on how not to mortify your teenagers?
Oh Shelly, this is such a funny post. Number one reminded me of my granddaughters and something they would say to their mother.
ReplyDeleteMy father used to joke around and talk too long with my daughter when she worked at McDonald's. It got so everyone would warn her when he was coming in for coffee so she could hide in the back room.
Belle: That is so funny about your dad- we never realize the effect we have on the young ones in our lives.
ReplyDeleteOut first one was much harder to embarrass than our current one. Not much of a challenge to get her to turn red. Don't want to lose my touch!
Shelly, this was so funny! I love the visual of your husband going to pick the teenager up wearing a giant sombrero...actually I have one. Mental note: get it out and ready to use a blackmail on teenagers.
ReplyDeleteSandra: Giant sombreros are great props for many situations in life. I think my daughter is scarred for life with that one. She still calls it "The Hat Incident".
ReplyDeleteShelly this made my morning and was so funny and I think you about covered all the ones I could think of. Have an awesome weekend.
ReplyDeleteOdie: Laughter is good for the soul. Have a terrific weekend yourself!
ReplyDeleteBAHAHA I love "the hat incident" lucky this guy is not her dad http://waveatthebus.blogspot.com/ LOL
ReplyDeleteIWASNTBLOGGEDYESTERDAY: I saw that guy on the news! It was totally hilarious. I wonder if the son is now enjoying their new found fame...
ReplyDeleteStopping by from the Finding the Funny Party! http://queenofsavings.com
ReplyDeleteJustine: Thanks for stopping by!
ReplyDeleteI may print this out and save it for my own when they're teens in another 9 years. Because I'm guaranteed to horrify them on a daily basis. Possibly intentionally.
ReplyDeleteCame from Finding the Funny.
Kim at Let Me Start By Saying: There's special fun in it, I guarantee you!
ReplyDeleteUmmmm...I think you're missing the whole point of having a teenager by.....wait a minute......oh, very inventive with the Mexican hat dance. Wish I'd thought of that one! My youngest is 19.....but there's always the hope of grandchildren!
ReplyDeleteAnonymous: I saw a lady recently who was a member of the Red Hat group and she was with her granddaughter and some of gd's friends. The girls looked mortified as the grandma and her Red Hat friends proceeded to act goofy throughout the store. So yes, there's great hope in the grandchildren, too!
DeleteOh my gosh - this was awesome! I don't have teenagers yet, but picturing you meowing out the car window made me laugh out loud. I'm going to be chuckling at this all night!
ReplyDeleteThanks for linking up at finding the funny! I'm pinning this to our Pinterest board, and I'll be sharing it on twitter/facebook this week.
Anna: Thank you for stopping by! It never hurts to have a good repetoire of animal noises saved up for when your kids become teens...
ReplyDeleteHeHeHe. So good to know :) My oldest is only 9... so I have a couple years to go, but am definitely feeling wiser from your "wisdom" :)
ReplyDeleteKate F: Get ready- those teen years are a wild ride! Humor truly helps!
ReplyDeleteBahahaha! That is too funny. Number 1 was awesome. If I ever have kids I will feel so sorry for them. It will just be too much fun to mortify them.
ReplyDeleteTHE SARCASM GODDESS: It truly is free entertainment...
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