Tuesday, January 29, 2013

A Teen Girl's Guide to Handling Parents Who Embarrass

(This is not really guest posted by my 16 year old daughter. That would be too embarrassing for her.)

If your parents love to act weird in public, like mine do, here are some tips that can help you avoid or at least ease your embarrassment.


The Perpetually Embarrassed Teenaged Daughter


1. If you are in a clothing store manned by a hot, young, male clerk, and both parents, in their best Scottish accents ask the clerk where the kilts are, busy yourself with an urgent problem on your phone and slide surreptitiously  away. If both parents then put their arms around you and tell the clerk, "The wee lassie has always wanted a bonnie kilt, " pretend you haven't heard them at all,  and in fact that you don't even belong to them.

2. If in a Mexican restaurant while you and your parents are being serenaded by strolling mariachis, and both parents punctuate the end of the last mariachi song with a grito, (which "is similar to the yeehaw of the American cowboy, except with added trills and an onomatopoeia closer to  'aaaayyyyeeee'. The first sound is typically held as long as possible, leaving enough breath for a trailing set of trills," ) use your long hair to cover your face quickly, a la Veronica Lake. You might just become unnoticeable if your entire face is swathed by your dark hair.

3. On an out of town trip, when your mother finds a truck stop bathroom so truly beautiful that she takes pictures of it and asks you to pose for the same, spin quickly around before she can get a snap of your face *gasp* INSIDE A BATHROOM.

Moms just don't understand that the only appropriate pictures taken in the bathroom and posted on Facebook are the ones you take of yourself with your new outfit and hairstyle in your OWN bathroom mirror.

4.  When you and your mom are waiting in the car for your cousin in front of the high school and your mom has the front windows lowered, make sure you have enough space to hear outside noise around your ear buds. Because when your mom spots a cat with several small kittens walking nearby and begins to MEOW at them through the open window, you will need to drop down quickly into the floorboard and blend in with the floormats. 

5.  When your mom and dad chunk up the deuces at each other and at you in the mall when you are with your friends, pretend to your friends they are hearing impaired and are using sign language to communicate with each other.

6. If one of your teachers is good friends with your mom, make sure your mom does NOT exit the car when she comes to pick you up after school, especially if she has been home sick and is wearing pajama bottoms with yeti slippers. You do appreciate the kids in your group who politely look away, though, if she does, because they understand your pain.

7. When your mom discovers text speak and starts to post things on your Facebook wall using it, make sure first of all you are quick to check your wall and even quicker to delete things on it. Then, educate your mom about what some of those abbreviations really mean.

8. But most of all, love your parents. They can't help being goofy and they love you with every molecule of their beings. Just love 'em.




88 comments:

  1. heehee!
    This made me laugh out loud! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, my gosh! Your daughter is probably torn between wanting to laugh, and blushing to death. :)

    You are a brave mom, Shelly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Marsha: Poor her- she's probably the brave one for putting up with us!

      Delete
  3. She has great parents and she knows it. She is beautiful too! And the first one - if we would shop at Wal Mart or K Mart - the kids would hide! lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sandie: Thank you! She really is a good kid. Now about her parents...

      Delete
  4. Oh, the burden of having "outgoing" parents :)

    Still chuckling over the kilt, the grito, and the yeti slippers!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jenny_o: I like outgoing instead of embarrassing!

      Delete
  5. This brought back memories from my childhood. Parents can be so embarrassing, not that I've ever embarrassed my child. Fer sure!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stephen: embarrassing your kid is all in a day's work for a parent, right?

      Delete
  6. Examining this post as would Lieutenant Columbo, I reasoned that it couldn't have been guest posted by your lovely daughter for four key reasons:

    A) A girl your daughter's age probably wouldn't know Veronica Lake.
    B) Your daughter would never voluntarily post her picture on a parent's blog.
    C) Your daughter is too smart to use the number 7 twice in a list.
    D) Your daughter is lucky enough to have a great mother who raised her right, and therefore most of these items are merely exaggerated for comedic effect.

    Nevertheless, I'm sure there is a grain of truth in every example. I'm sure because I felt and behaved the same way as a teenager whenever I was dragged kicking and screaming to public places with mom and dad. Thank you for a very entertaining piece, dear friend Shelly!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shady: Eagle eyes you are! I, too, have vivid memories of being embarrassed with my parents, but now I love being with them. My older daughter has never been embarrassed by anything, I don't think. I tell Teenager she will one day be the same way! Thank you for dropping by and I hope your week is terrific!

      Delete
  7. Too funny! Okay, I'll try to resist the urge to take pictures of any attractive bathrooms I might encounter on the road! LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Too funny! Sad though that I am more like the parent than the girl these days, LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lydia: ah, you've crossed over to the other side... :)

      Delete
  9. Love . It! I love doing stuff like this to my boys just to watch them react. Hey! Life's too short otherwise. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Say What: that's part of the fun of it, o see what they will do!

      Delete
  10. I'm thinking this will apply to my sons as well. I plan on going out of my way to embarrass them for the hell they've put me through as children :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Julie: It is, and it is so much fun! My older daughter is unembarrassable, but this one turns red at the drop of a hat. She's learning, though, she's learning...

      Delete
  11. Shelly, this made me think, remember and laugh! I used to be asked to be dropped off a short distance away from a school event so others might have thought I drove myself. I embarrassed my daughter and of course, this is never our intention. My daughter was at a junior high dance once and I was outside with other parents waiting for it to be over. I stuck my face up to the window and looked inside. One of my daughter's friend yelled out, "There's your mother!", pointing to the window. My daughter said she almost died when she saw me peeking inside.

    My high school friend and I went to a nightclub when we were on a FL family vacation together. I won't even share how young we were, there was no drinking and it was mostly older teenagers. It was quite innocent. How uncool is it when my friend's father came inside and escorted us out.

    Life's an adventure, for sure! Another great post, Shelly, and very entertaining.

    BTW, Has your daughter ever given you "fashion" advice such as, "you're wearing that?"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cindy: oh, I hope someday you will write these up in a story! I can just see you innocently peeking through the glass and her horrified reaction! All of these would be so good if you wrote them up! And yes, I get fashion " suggestions" all the time!

      Delete
  12. These are great! This was so funny and brought back memories.
    Your daughter is beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nonnie: I guess we were all like that! Thank you-

      Delete
  13. LOL, Shelly! The embarassment of it all to be a teenage daughter (but a very beautiful one too). Some day she might be privileged to embarass her own daughter LOL :)

    I notice of course as they age they get less embarassed; there are a few times when my son goes walking the dog with me that I notice he pulls a little away from me (usually when we are walking by a nice looking woman) in that he might be embarassed to be around me :) (he's 23 ;)

    betty

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Betty: Oh, how funny! It does take a while to outgrow, doesn't it? And thank you for your kind words-

      Delete
  14. I have embarrassed my daughters since they were 5 or 6 years old. It's inevitable! Great stories.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Belle: It's all part of the great circle of life, but one we don't quite understand until we're parents ourselves!

      Delete
  15. Hilarious, Shelly! Your list made me miss my dad (who took great joy in embarrassing me), and made me excited for the day when my kids are old enough for me to make them blush. I'm dying to know what text abbreviations you were using!

    Your daughter is lovely, and a good sport.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Funny is Family: Oh, those text abbreviations that I thought were one thing and really meant another made ME embarrassed that I was so clueless...

      You are going to have great fun doing that one day to your kids. And yes, my teenager is a great sport, and has kind of come to expect the really weird, goofy stuff from my husband and me. I'm glad you have those memories of your dad!

      Delete
  16. First of all....your daughter is beautiful....secondly, this was a hoot!!! I so enjoyed this. By the way, High Five to the "Scottish Parents". rofl

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hootin Anni: Thank you! And my husband and I have other accents we pull out, too, like redneck, cholo, and even Italian. She never knows what's coming next...

      Delete
  17. Ha! I agree, beautiful girl.

    Okay, I don't know what this says about me, but I feel for the teen. Maybe it's because I write YA, but I'm like what's wrong with these parents??????
    ; )
    Of course, I must mortify my teen and kid though I can't imagine how...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Theresa: Thank you! And it's all in fun. She's a great girl. She laughs about it as much as we do. She says it helps her to think quickly on her feet and to not be swept off course when unplanned things happen. (And really, it doesn't happen TOO often.) And, she's starting to get me back with her own little pranks...

      Delete
  18. What great ideas and something all teenagers should never become aware of as that would take the pleassure out of embarressing them............lol

    ReplyDelete
  19. This gives me GREAT insight to a teenage girls mind and glad t hear it's ok to speak in a Scottish Accent - When my sister and I talk we end up speaking with an English accent - I'll have to give the Scottish one a try!

    Your daughter is beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Saimi: How cute that must be, that you end up speaking with English accents! Thank you!

      Delete
  20. Aw, I love how your beautiful daughter ended this post. You guys sound like you have a lot of fun together. These are memories everyone will look back at and laugh, whether cringing or not!

    On a related note, when I was in high school, my (much) older brother used to pick my friends and I up from school. He owned an old car with a faulty horn, that kind of sounded like a dying duck. Whenever he'd pick us up, he never failed to start our trip home with a few honks of that awful car horn, within earshot of all exiting students, of course. My friends and I used to bury our faces in our hands, but we laugh about it now.

    You should consider posting a sound byte of that grito. We'd love to hear it!

    Blessings to you and your lovely family...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Janette: I think the better we learn to handle such situations, the better we'll be able to adapt and handle seamlessly whatever life throws our way. I can only imagine what that horn sounded like!

      Here's a link to a grito: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpQu5lg9i7Q

      We weren't QUITE that loud, though...

      Delete
  21. Ha Ha... but all jokes aside.. We all feel like that at some time or another about our parents. When I look back on my mother and how I was to her when I was a teenager, I realise how wonderful she was. My elder daughter never showed me she was embarrassed about me, but my younger daughter couldn't stand to be seen with me. She has changed now, (so there is still hope for you.) Both my daughters seem proud to be with me now that they have older children themselves. Now its their turn... Oh dear, the cycle goes on. LOL Hug xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Crystal: Yes, my older daughter has never been embarrassed of anything, either. And Teenaged Daughter is showing resistance now, to being embarrassed too much anymore, so that's a good thing, too. So glad the floods around you are dissipating- what severe weather you all have had! xoxo-

      Delete
  22. The power to embarrass is the only defense mechanism I have! And apparently I am a natural at it. Elliot is only eight and is already occasionally embarrassed. I had to think about the phrase "chunk up the deuces." I thought you might be talking about something else. Never mind. And I would love to hear a grito!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jenny: Deuces is what we used to call a peace sign, only kind of sideways, I think. And I put a link for a griot a couple of replies up from YouTube. Ours were not that loud, though, nor that prolonged! I think as long as their are children and parents, there will be some embarrassment along the way!

      Delete
  23. OH, you are the baby, you know you will get it worse than your older sister, right?

    There are ways to get back at your Scottish fakers....hahahhahahaahah (evil laugh)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jamie: Ha! Don't be giving any ideas- she's already pranked me a few times and is going to be a master at it, I can already tell!

      Delete
  24. I am still laughing. I love the bathroom and the facebook etiquette. Oh my and yes the school and bathroom slippers is always a good one. I finally quit posting on my grandsons' facebook wall and just message them. They thanked me!

    I love this Shelly but I always do and your daughter is beautiful!
    Happy day! :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jackie: FB is dangerous ground to navigate with teens! Since you've already been through it with your grandsons, you know exactly what I'm talking about. Thank you, and have a terrific day yourself!

      Delete
  25. Oh you know I think she sounds like a very wise teenager raised by a very quirky Mom. You know I just said that in case she is reading it don't you?
    Made me laugh thank you. B

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Buttons: She is is a wise girl, and funny, too. I think she's going to come to appreciate her quirky parents one day when she becomes one, because I have a feeling she will be very much like us!

      Delete
  26. Shelly, these are SO funny. I can still remember my oldest daughter (who is ow 42) hiding in the well of the passenger seat when she was 14, and then slithering out so that no one would see her actually having a lift from her mum. (And I only did it when it was pouring down with rain!). As a family, we took our youngest daughter out to a restaurant when she was 21, and when the cake was brought out, loud music started to play "It's your birthday, It's your birthday" (you probably don't know that song!) so that everyone looked around, and she was mortified. LOL!! I agree with Columbo/Kojak/Shady - your daughter is far too young to know who Veronica Lake is! Come to think of it, I think that YOU'RE too young to know who Veronica Lake is!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thisisme: Oh, I had to laugh at what you described with your daughters. I can remember doing so many of the same things with my parents, too. I guess it's a rite of passage we all go through, and thankfully for most of us it passes rather quickly. Ha! And thank you for the comment about Veronica Lake- my daughter and I both enjoy old movies, so we've seen her a few times. That hair!

      Delete
  27. I almost died when my mother would drop me off at school...in her Gremlin! Does anyone know what kind of car that is?????

    Your kids are cool.
    You are cool parents.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Christine: I remember the Gremlins! Gosh, whatever happened to those cars? And thank you! I will reassure her she will survive...

      Delete
  28. HAHA! you make me laugh :D Nothing like a little character building for the embarrassed teen :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Michelle: And that's exactly what it does- builds character and the ability to navigate whatever life might throw unexpectedly your way!

      Delete
  29. Someone or someones somewhere is or are doing something or somethings right. It is, after all, the responsibility of parents to embarrass their teens.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. vanilla: I think I remember it as one of the top five rules of parenting!

      Delete
  30. If our kids truly understood that embarrassment is just a way of making sure they realize that one day soon they will be walking in our shoes your daughter is gorgeous.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Simone: Absolutely! And thank you~

      Delete
  31. Replies
    1. Optimistic Existentialist: Being a teen isn't easy!

      Delete
  32. Dearest Shelly,
    I wonder if these were told to you by herself. You are so modest♬♬♬ Really lovely to read this post as we can see how your beautiful smart-looking angel daughter and you are getting along well♡♡♡
    Thinking back to my teenage days, I'm the one who embarrass my mother sometimes with my lack of concentration p;) I followed her advice not to drive, hehe. Now I'm the one who are making my husband embarrassed with my poor hearing and not good at remembering faces(^^;) Haha, I wish I had a daughter whom I could embarrass.

    PS> I learned the word text speak (SMS language); thanks a lot, my dear friend (^_^)彡☆

    Sending you lots of love and hugs from Japan, xoxo Miyako*

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Miyako: We do have a wonderful time together, my dear friend Miyako, and all silliness aside, she is a great girl. I'm sure, though, you are not an embarrassment at all to anyone. Sometimes we are harder on ourselves than we are anyone else!

      And that text speak is something else. I don't think I'll ever learn all the acronyms or nuances associated with it. Ack! Too many ways to make mistakes.

      xoxo from Texas to you, my friend!

      Delete
  33. Shelly, I needed this to put a smile on my face. Blessings my dear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Just Be Real: Thank you, friend, and I hope you are doing well!

      Delete
    2. Hey, Shelly always, always you encouragement me some how. That is why I always like to read and visit your site. And then when you comment on my own, it lifts my spirit. Blessings to you dear one.

      Delete
    3. Thank you, Grace! I so appreciate your kind words. I always enjoy visiting your site. You're making wonderful strides, my friend!

      Delete
  34. Dear Shelly, what does "chunk up the deuces" mean? I'm so far removed from the youth of today that it's like learning a second language to know all about technology like Facebook, etc. I do have a facebook account but I'm still not sure how to use it.

    This is such a delightful summary of what I'm sure most teen-agers feel at times about their parents. I can remember some of this when I was young and somewhat callow!!! But the ending is so accurate also, because your people do know--mostly--when and how their parents love them. And I'm sure your daughter loves you with the same deep appreciation of your individuality and uniqueness. Peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dee: Chunk up the deuces is like a sideways peace sign, and I think people use it to say goodbye (but maybe that's wrong). At any rate, I am told it is already outdated, so I don't even know what the most current one is.

      And yes, I think love is universally known and felt, although sometimes we have to remind the teenagers more often that we do. I was kind of a terror when I was a teen, and I'm so thankful both my daughters are so much better than I was!

      Delete
  35. Like fish in a barrel! They just make it too easy. :)

    I had to laugh because I read #3 I thought, "But they will take a million pictures of themselves in the bathroom mirror". And then I read the rest of your caption which said just that. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Felt Family: I even said that to her- why is it OK that you take them in the bathroom mirror all the time but not in this large, lovely bathroom here? She really couldn't explain it to me-

      And I had to laugh loudly because like fish in a barrel is so true!

      Delete
  36. Hilarious! But really, I think a large part of a parent's job is to have fun at their kids' expense

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rick: And I take my job seriously!

      Delete
  37. Beautiful daughter! Your mission in life is complete when you live long enough to embarrass your kids! Rock on...good job!!!

    These made me laugh...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Traveling Bells: Thank you! I tell her she will get her day to do it, in good time!

      Delete
  38. That was so funny! Hey, embarrassing our kids is just part of preparing them for the real world.

    ReplyDelete
  39. LOL thanks for the giggles.
    My younger son really gets embarrassed when I carry something heavy. He does not know that as a vendor audit I used to lift heavy cartons and put them on a table. I dare not tell that to him or any one of his friends. I guess as parents we have to keep a certain image. Just so.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Munir: Oh, so true, my friend, we do have to maintain that image, for their sake, of course! That gave me a big smile~

      Delete
  40. Wait -- you meow at passing cats?!

    :-)

    I thought only us midwesterners did that. To cows.

    Wait'll I tell Liza Bean...

    Pearl

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pearl: Tell Liza Bean if she ever wants to talk, in her language, I'm available, just a phone call away.

      Delete
  41. HA HA! My kids are in their 30's and 40's and I still embarrass them...one of the secret joys of my life! :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cathy: It never gets old, does it?!

      Delete

I love to hear from you! I also love to comment back.