TSA redux

I wrote a post last week that highlighted my frustrations with the TSA. I just got back from Washington DC and I'm wondering if someone from TSA saw that post and set a trap for me at Dulles.

On the way there, I only had a minor gropedown- both of my arms and it was over quickly. I was wearing a BodyBugg on my arm (measures the calories I burn) and hadn't taken it off. That was OK.

However, I was not prepared for the craftiness of this booby trap. Last night, after arriving in Houston after midnight and staying over at our friends' house for my flight early this morning, I unzipped my bag, so ready to grab a few quick hours of sleep.

A cloud of brown dust arose from it. I pulled open the top and the cloud puffed up like it was spewed from a volcano. Brown powder spilled out of the sides. In fact, the whole suitcase was layered at all levels in a fine, brown, talcum-like sand. I was so tired I couldn't even process what I was seeing. EVERYWHERE, on EVERYTHING, it was coated in this brown stuff.

I touched it. I sniffed it. Faintly first, then strongly chocolate smelling. I tasted it. The revelation hit my sleepy brain like a hammer.

The protein powder I had packed deep within my clothes (in a sturdy, thick plastic bag from GNC with a heavy duty slide top) had somehow been opened and its contents deposited throughout my belongings. I wanted to cry. You got me, TSA. I found the little card you left behind saying you searched my bag again. You opened my protein powder bag and didn't close it.

Our friends had just moved to Houston and did not yet have a washer/dryer hooked up. I also didn't want to wake them because they were as tired as I was. I had only four hours left before I had to be back at the airport.

I did what I could. I shook things out as much as possible without completely messing up the room in our friends' house. I couldn't even remember the color of the three pair of $25 per pair VS underthings I bought in DC because they were inundated in brown, high-quality, whey isolate protein powder. I had to finally laugh.

You win this round, TSA. I got on the flight today with faint puffs of brown dust floating up from me when I hit my jeans or sat down. I exuded a chocolate aroma everywhere I went. People probably thought I was a scratch and sniff advertisement for Godiva.

Mr. Tejano has the shop vac outside with the suitcase now, trying to suck up all that expensive protein powder.

Round three will come later this summer, TSA. You just wait- one day I'm going to be too smart for you.