The Quirks Have Taken Control

My mind has its quirks, there is no doubt. Usually, though, I can contain these quirks with the aim of living a useful and polite life. Sometimes, though, sometimes, the quirks overtake me and reveal themselves.

Yesterday, I was delighted to not have a long wait at the nail salon. The woman who does my nails is wonderful at her job, but does not usually visit or socialize with her clients other than to find out only the most necessary information. She spends most of the time she works on my nails talking on the phone. I have no gripes with that, as she is an excellent nail artist. I cannot understand what she is saying on the phone as she is speaking a language I assume to be Vietnamese or Cambodian. It is a lovely language, full of soft blends and gentle consonants. Yesterday as she worked on my nails, I let my mind wander to what she was speaking.

It sounded like this, "Whum sha fo shum sh*t sh*t." Huh? my ears perked up and I listened carefully.

"Shu sha lo hum sh*t sh*t," she warbled into the phone.

Her tone took a serious turn. "Hu fo shem li sh*t sh*t SH*T!" she spat.

Then I felt it, The quirk was taking over and I couldn't stop it! No, no, not now, you quirk!

I tried, but the quirk was more powerful than I. It started deep in my belly and before I knew it came out of my mouth with an almost deafening roar. "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

And then I couldn't quit laughing. It startled her enough that she put the phone down, stopped the work on my nails and quietly looked at me.

That made the quirk even stronger and I laughed and laughed until tears squeezed out of my eyes. I was breathless and red faced by the time the quirk acquiesced.

Embarrassed is not a deep enough word to describe how I felt in the aftermath.

This is not the only time the quirk has overtaken me.

In grad school, I took a linguistics class at night.

This class was important to my degree and I knew I was privileged to be in this class because the professor only took on a small number each semester and was a well known scholar. I wanted to wring every bit of knowledge I could out of this class.

Apparently the professor came to this class immediately after he ate his supper. He had a habit of belching, not burping, but BELCHING whenever he felt the gas from his meal rising up through his digestive tract.

"Tonight we will be discussing *BELCH* the rise of the Indo-European *BELCH*...."

 I'm sure you get the idea.

The first few times it happened, I was shocked and embarrassed for him. The next few times, I looked around at my classmates to see how they were reacting. They obviously wanted to stay in his good graces because they showed no reaction at all, their faces painted with pseudo-Mona Lisa smiles a jackhammer couldn't have chipped off.

One night midway through the semester, after almost three straight hours of listening to the belch-speak, my quirk started to exert control. What had seemed disgusting to me before now seemed more and more humorous.

I imagined painful things, like walking barefoot through burning, broken glass to try and distract my quirk. My belly jumped in tiny spasms. I put my hand over my forehead and leaned into it, rubbing my temples in a last ditch effort to assuage the quirk.

"Don't forget, *BELCH* your midterm *BEEELLLLLLCCHHHHH*..." and with that last extended expulsion, it was over.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" my quirk released from me. I couldn't stop.

My classmates didn't share my mirth at the situation. They sat, open mouthed, in feigned shock at my rudeness. If small Puritan hats had been available that night, I'm sure they would have rushed to don them, so great was their righteous indignation at my outburst.

Their pinch faced disapproval at my laughing spell only infused strength into my quirk and I hee-hawed all the harder.  I finally regained control by leaving the otherwise completely silent room.

I would have left the building completely, but my purse and my books were still in the room. When I finally worked up a serious enough face to go back in, my professor looked me in the eye and said, "I suppose I should eat dinner earlier. My apologies."

I wanted to dig a hole in the floor and remain there the rest of the semester.

I try to keep control of my quirks, but sometimes they overpower me.

What about you? Do you have any quirks that cause you social discomfort?