Friday, April 27, 2012

The Fruit of the Bowels

To those of you who read and left such wonderful comments on my last post, thank you, thank you, thank you. It's so comforting to have your support, love, and prayers as we navigate through these upcoming difficult times.


Now, let's talk about bowels.

"Mija, you give me dollah, I give you these choozee tomatoes," she said, holding up a full bag of gorgeous, ripe, red ones, each with a little of the stem still attached.  Even though she called me mija (daughter) she was a good 20 years younger. She rolled out her patter in a nasally, amplified voice that sounded like it should come from a much larger person.

The fruit stand across the highway from my school is one of my favorite places to buy just- picked fruit and vegetables. This woman had started with a little operation selling watermelons out of the trunk of her car on the side of the road and had now expanded it to a full lot, with a roof, storage buildings, and endless tables of mouth watering produce.

"You come here, mija. I show you something muy especial, " she said as she gently pulled my wrist to follow her. She stopped before a display of succulent peaches. "These so sweet you think you gonna die. They all good for the bowel-ies." She swept her hand across the peaches and bordering nectarines. A former student of mine, Daniel, now a high school senior, looked up from his job in sorting the peaches, smiled, and gave a little wave.

"Mija, you have a the trouble with the bowel-ies? Like, they no move too good?" She rubbed her hand on her lower belly and contorted her face, grunting and grimacing. Daniel raised his eyebrows but kept his head lowered, a hint of a smile peeking out the sides of his mouth.

"Hey- I watching you- you eh-keep working!" she called out to some other boys hauling boxes of mangoes. She turned to me, "They think cause I the lady boss, they can be lazy. No one lazy here! Now, mija, let's talk about eh-your bowel-ies. No lazy bowel-ies, either. I see by you face maybe you having the trouble with the bowel-ies, yes?" Daniel coughed a little near us and kept his eyes intently on his work.

Before I could speak, she pressed on. "You eyes, they look eh-tired. That's always trouble with the bowel-ies. You eat these, and things be smooth, nice, like eh-the toothpaste coming out of the tube." With that, she filled a bag with the peaches and put it into my hand.

"You take- I give to you. I no want no one of my good eh-customers having the trouble with the bowel-ies."

60 comments:

  1. Bahahaha..... Oh my, no, trouble with the bowlies is not good! Hilarious! I don't know if I read your last post but I will go look right now. Thank you for the laughs!!! :)))

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    1. Jenn: She's really a very sweet lady- just never had anyone so concerned with the state of the "bowelies" before...

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  2. LOL! Oh my, there is a line somewhere that got crossed--but oh, so entertaining!

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    1. Chantel: I don't think the term "invading my space" has ever entered her mind~

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  3. You are blessed. With a produce vendor like that you may save may trips to the city to see a physician who would only prescribe expensive chemical compounds in pill form. ;o)

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    1. vanilla: I'm thinking she should hang out a shingle for herself~

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  4. Sometimes when you look tired its simply because you're tired, not because you stopped going! (LOL) However, I don't think I would have been able to resist that lady's animated sales pitch. Most likely I would have made a quick purchase just to shut her up and stop her from implying, for any and all bystanders to hear, that I'm having trouble with my bowelies. This is another great story, Shelly. Thank you and have an excellent weekend!

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    1. Shady: I can certainly see why she's expanding her business! It was a little mortifying that beyond my inability to even get in a single word, my former student was listening to all of it. Ha- wonder what he thinks! Thank you, my friend, and have a wonderful weekend yourself!

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  5. Wonderful story! I like that she acted out her bowelies trouble for you!

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    1. laughing mom: There was no question as to what she was talking about...

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  6. I was so mixed up at first I thought she was talking about bowls..like bowls sitting on your table. But I soon caught on.

    I want a lady like that at my Wal-Mart store. My life is so boring and stale...so Minnesota like. We all just walk around Wal-Mart saying..you-betcha!

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    1. Christine: It took me a little bit, too, to understand what the bowelies were, but when she demonstrated, I had no doubts!

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  7. I think I would have taken her advice and started in on those peaches. I love them anyway and both Linda and I dearly love to walk through farmers markets and leave with fresh, lovely fruits and veggies. Have a great weekend.

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    1. Odie: I did come away with the back she gave me, and they are really good. Nothing like fresh produce~ have a great weekend, yourself, my friend!

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  8. Hahahaha!!! I really think I love that woman. I may just try that out. Walk around diagnosing people from the looks on their faces. Great story! I'm sure if Daniel has a blog that it's on his now, too. Although Twitter is more likely. :) Good luck with your "bowelies"! LOL!

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    1. P.S. I don't know how I'm ever going to be able to brush my teeth again after this.

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    2. I am sure Daniel has told that story all over the high school by now! This lady is like in her 20's and she is certainly very confident of herself. It was so weird!

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    3. Oh, and yes, I totally wish she hadn't used the analogy of the toothpaste because I will have to bleach my mind from that when I brush my teeth from now on. Ugh!

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  9. Hahahahahaha!! You had me laughing through the whole post!!

    YOU COULD HAVE HAD A V-8!!!

    Gosh if eyes looking has something to do with looking tired, there must be something wrong with my bowelies.

    Oh, the toothepaste part was just too much, how did you not laugh? (or run the other way)

    What a nice lady to be so concerned for your digestive system...kind of like the Mexican Jamie Lee Curtis/Activia!!

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    1. Jamie: Oh, she was so funny with her gestures and acting it out. It's nice to know someone is concerned with the bowelies!

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    1. momto8: I laughed hard about it later. At the time, it was just a little too weird~

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  11. OH, yeah, what a blessing to have that fresh produce so close...I do miss that about California, here in MN, we get fruit and veggies ripened in a truck on the way here...Not near as good....can't wait til summer and veggie stands everywhere...

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    1. Jamie: I LOVE having it so close to where I work, and it's at a much better price and so very fresh. I try to buy all I can there.

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  12. OH MY! That is too strange. And funny!

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    1. Theresa: I'm thinking maybe she wanted to actually be a dr. but ended up in fruits and vegetables.

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  13. So nice to have a fresh produce stand so convenient and what a character! Reading your fun post today made me smile and remember a patient I had once -- from Mainland China -- who set up shop in the parking lot outside my office after sessions vociferously hawking her wares, in this case, blankets, to a bemused populace. I was impressed with her sense of enterprise. Your fruit vendor lady-boss sounds like a very enterprising type, too!

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  14. Dr. Kathy: Actually, she is pretty impressive for her age and her drive and determination. She's really built it up into something big in just a couple of years. Like your Mainland China lady, she's not shy at all about talking about anything! I think I would have chuckled a little at your lady, too- too bad more Americans don't have that kind of ambition~

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  15. How cute, Shelly! She is a good saleswoman and seems to perhaps know a natural remedy! I do admire her tenacity though to start a business from out of the back of her vehicle and now have a building with employees!! That is awesome!

    have a great weekend!

    betty

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    1. Betty: Saleswoman she is! I hope she continues to grow her business. It's a win/win all the way around. Have a wonderful weekend yourself!

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  16. Hello, dearest Shelly.
    Oh,my♬♬♬  I knew the word "sales pitch";for her case, really lovable saleswoman♡♡♡ Yes, I also smiled the figurative speech of "toothpaste coming out of the tube" You must have given her some language lessons, hehe (I wish I could) They must need some level of push attitude (^^;)
    Lots of Love and Many Hugs to you, xoxo Miyako*

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    1. Orchid: Hello, my dear friend! She was very interesting with her use of language and gestures to get her point across. I, for once, was almost speechless!

      Have a wonderful weekend, my friend Miyako!

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  17. Hi Shelly. Great story there about the bowelies!! Hee Hee! I bet Daniel had a tale to tell when he was back with his friends. Hope the peaches did the trick! Hee Hee! Even though your bowelies were probably working quite well, thank you very much nice fruit lady!!

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    1. Thisisme: I think Daniel got the biggest kick of all out of it! The funniest was that I never even got in a word edgewise, but I did get some free peaches, at least!

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  18. I am your newest follower! We are both members of Sweet Tea.
    And fellow Texans~

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  19. But did you have trouble with your "bowel-ies"and if so how did she know.........lol Free peaches are always a plus though

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    1. Jo_Anne: Ha! The only reason she made her little diagnosis was because she thought my eyes looked tired, but I was happy to get the peaches!

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  20. Good Grief! That was a Charlie Brown moment if I ever heard one. I would be standing there with my tired eyes and a face as pink as the peaches.

    This marketing technique of embarrassing your customers is certainly unconventional! But you made me laugh and I'm sitting here still smiling while Richard is asking me "what's so funny?"

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    1. Jenny: I still can't quite believe she went there, but it was nice to get the peaches!

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  21. I try to eat at least one fruit a day. The rule of thumb is three fruits Mija - - - um I mean Shelly.

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  22. Every good thing comes with a price to be paid...wink wink

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  23. Thank you for your nice comment on my blog, Shelly!

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    1. Jenny: And thank you for visiting here~

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  24. "Who's that behind her Foster Grants?"

    A woman trying to hide her bowel-ies problem.


    You crack me up, Shelly! ♥

    P.S. Next time I buy peaches I will be wearing dark sunglasses.

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    1. Cindy: Ha! I don't even think I got in a word the whole time she was talking to me! Daniel did get a kick out of it~

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  25. My goodness, she is so straight forward, and yet, your good was her main priority.. You health and well being..
    So funny and probably embarrassing for Daniel. I bet he can go home and tell lots of funny stories such as this..And people go back for more. She is someone to be trusted. A simple caring person who knows how to work well, and how to live productively.

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    1. Crystal Mary: She really does have a wonderful heart- it just took me aback! Ha! And yes, she is a quality person of a type we could use more of, for certain.

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  26. You know someone REALLY cares about you when they're worried about your bowels.
    Hope you bought some, LOL!

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    1. Lydia: I've never had anyone quite so concerned about me...and yes, the peaches were great!

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  27. I don't need help with my bowelies - but I do love watermelon. What a sweet and funny woman!

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    1. Belle: She never even stopped to get an answer from me, but I did enjoy the peaches...

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  28. You must be one of her regulars or either that, she is pretty concerned about your bowel-ies. Cute story!

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    1. Simone: I do go there often, but usually don't run into her as she's mostly gone for the day by the time I get there. She knows me though, through school, so I hope I don't have to hear about that in a PTO meeting or anything...

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  29. EEEk! My jaw dropped several times as I read through this post. Especially regarding the toothpaste analogy. Ewwww! People can be so WEIRD! I would NEVER even THINK about a strangers bowlies. Much less offer them peaches as a solution for possible constipation! *shakes head*

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    1. Crystal: She really was kind of funny and has a good heart. I would NEVER EVER think to talk to even a close friend about that, much less a fairly anonymous customer...

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  30. Dear Shelly, . . . For the whole of April, I've been away from the blogging world and so have missed your postings. I returned today and read your previous posting on your sister and her need for a heart transplant. I left a comment there and felt tenderness and hope for your sister . . . and you.

    Now I read about you, peaches, and bowelies and find myself grinning. What a delight to start the day with meeting this wonderful woman who gives you free peaches because she sees the tiredness in your face. I so liked the way you kept the young student in the story. Just that slight touch made the story even more entrancing. Thank you.

    And thank you also for commenting on my postings while I was gone.

    Peace.

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    1. Dee: Thank you so much for your comforting comments on the post about my sister. I went back ad read all of them and they really help me to stay in peace.

      And yes, I wish we had more like this little woman in our world, even though maybe they don't all need to be so outwardly concerned with bowels! :)

      Welcome back!

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