Sunday, May 18, 2014

Queen of the Small Things

If I were Queen of the Small Things, I would:

1. Equip cars to deliver a small electrical shock to drivers’ bums when they fail to use the turn signal.

2. Incorporate self service kiosks in all clothing stores that scan a customer’s lower half and instantly print the perfect fitting pair of pants/ jeans with a 3- D printer in the customer’s choice of fabric, color, and style.

      3. Have unknown folks who do uncommon good as headliners on the news and in entertainment magazines. The Kardashians, Miley Ray, and the Beibs would be sent to live and work on Amish farms for a year.

      4, Gift every dwelling with a fruit, vegetable, or flower producing plant.

      5.Install a steadily moving conveyor in airport security lines. Each passenger sits in a chair on the conveyor. A foot masseuse removes the shoes and gives a swift but effective foot massage whilst the passenger moves steadily towards the scanners. On the plane, passengers who kick the seat back in front of them more than once will also receive a small electrical shock to the bum.

      6. Give every child a week in the summertime with my grandparents.

 Now you. If you were King/ Queen of the Small Things, what is something you would do?

And I am commenting on your blogs, but I find the email notifications are coming back to me and not to your inbox, for some strange reason. I do see them on your blogs, so please don't think I'm neglecting you. Blogger has a case of the hiccups again.

68 comments:

  1. I love the shock for those that don't use turn signals. That's a big gripe of my husband with driving, people who don't use it. I too am frustrated with the email notifications about things emails not being able to be delivered. I hope Blogger finds a solution for this and soon!

    betty

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    1. betty: I don't know why such a simple thing can be so hard for some drivers! And I'm with you in hoping Blogger rights itself.

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  2. Oh, I want that chair and massage during airport security lines. If I were Queen of the Small Things, everyone would organize their spices the way I do: in a drawer in the kitchen, labels up, in alphabetical order. I take quite a bit of pride in my spice drawer.

    Love,
    Janie, who wants everyone to find the correct spice as quickly as she does

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    1. Janie: You're invited to my house anytime to take over my spice cabinet (my husband is a grilling master and we have every spice known to man and then some)!

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    2. You'd feel so happy if I organized your kitchen. My kitchen is ideal.

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    3. Janie: I think there's a great book that could come out of that. ..

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  3. I would get rid of the germs that cause fever and make us sick. King Hubby is under the covers, cooking a fever right now. I would trade places with him if I could.

    :o(

    Hugs and happy highways,
    Kelley~

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    1. Kelley: I hear you- that's how I feel, too, when my loved ones are sick~

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  4. As I traveled several times for foreign countries when young, I smiled and cannot agree more for the no.5.
    As I see many old couples in the mall helping each other while shopping (we have a couple of big malls in our city), I will put many helpers for their shopping. Or what is better, drivers for each houses having trouble moving around p;) As I cannot drive and living up hill, this is from kind of a worry of mine(^^;) We used to have small convenient small shops around.
    I hope you will have a wonderful new week., Dearest Shelly.

    Sending you Lots of Love and Hugs from Japan to my dear friend in America, xoxo Miyako*

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    1. orchid Miyako: Oh, I love that, my dear friend! I think that should be available at every store. What a better world we would be. Have a terrific week, friend! xo

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  5. If I were queen of small things [by the way, I agree with the passenger seats in the row ahead of you should get the buzz of a lifetime!!]...

    let's see....what little things would be worth jotting down this morning?

    1] Have the cats' [or dogs'] tongues be sterilizing so the dishes they use would be cleaned for the next time automatically.
    2] With my brain power I'd invent a computer chip for the cars/vehicles to automatically replenish the air pressure in tires AS we drive instead of filling the tires manually.
    3] Automatic bed maker [there are automatic flushers...why not bed makers?]

    I could go on and on probably if I stopped to think about more...but this'll hafta do for now.
    Happy Monday Shelly.

    [by the way, I don't do emails...just blog only]

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    1. HOOTIN ANNI: I am looking at our blue heeler and his giant tongue and I am really, really liking your first one. The other two are pretty ingenious, too!

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  6. I love #3 Shelly. Those real and true heroes deserve the headlines. Ironically though, those are the people who would probably not want to be in them in the first place :) if I were king of the world, Krispy Kreme would deliver.

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    1. Optimistic: So true- and I hope you're putting in that call to Krispy Kreme right now!

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  7. Your #1 made me snort tea. I so agree. If I could be queen of small things, I would give each child a week at the waterfront, to play, investigate and connect with nature.

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    1. Linda: Could every child experience that, we would have a changed generation.

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  8. #2 I am so in:)
    All children need wonderful Grandparents to get through this life and that would be perfect #6.
    I would also put good food on every child's plate who is sitting with an empty one and dreaming Hug B

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    1. Buttons: Amen to that- no child should ever have to deal with the lack of good food, my friend!

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  9. As a grandparent of more than one generation, I have to say number 6 sparked sympathy for your grand parents. :-o
    Since we live in such a perfect world, one in which everyone shows consideration for everyone else, to be King of Small Things has little appeal to me. However, if I were King of the Big Things, . . .

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    1. vanilla: Yes, since I have already taken care of the small things, I shall leave the Big Things to you!

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  10. Good morning, dear Shelly!

    First allow me to comment on a few of the items on your list. Your idea to administer a small electrical shock to the bum is brilliant and has limitless applications. Your idea for "self service kiosks in all clothing stores that scan a customer’s lower half and instantly print the perfect fitting pair of pants/ jeans" is also great, but would be even better if it was accompanied by a loud booming voice that comes on the store's public address system and announces your size to every other shopper. :) I couldn't agree with you more about the need to remove pampered, overexposed celebs from the news and magazine shows and send them to Amish farms to do some honest work for a change. I can picture Miley using her wrecking ball to help knock down an old barn. :)

    As the newly crowned King of the Small Things, my first order of business would be to invent a pill for men who aren't happy with their Small Things, one that instantly turns them into Big Things - no risky, expensive surgical procedures required. Ron Jeremy advertises one such product but mine would be better! :)

    Enjoy your week, dear friend Shelly!

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    1. Shady: Now announcing the size to every shopper would definitely be a deterrent for most women!!! And yes, let Miley do something productive with her wrecking ball and her gifts, and let it never include twerking again. And oh, you always leave me with a smile- I am sure you would be a millionaire!

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  11. Hi Shelly, Great idea for a post! It's funny how common simple courtesies are often forgotten or ignored. Things like blinkers and airplane seats also annoy me. But I especially love your idea number 2. Buying jeans is a nightmare for me...I am five one and a quarter of an inch. Thankfully this year I've learned to hem, so when my taller, athletic neighbor (who is a medal winning professional cyclist) gave me three pair (she probably used them for maternity pants)...I was able to make good use of them. I even figured out how to get the lower part of the legs nicely fitted. No bell bottoms for me, thank you! A perfectly fitting comfortable pair of jeans is a rare item in my closet! If I were queen of the small things, disease carrying ticks would only bite terroists and kidnappers and rapists and the super duper mean people.

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    1. Jenny: I love the idea of the disease bearing ticks biting only those you have mentioned! Now that would be justice earned and deserved! And good for you on tailoring the jeans- I'm not that adept yet!

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  12. I love your idea for the ideal pair of pants.

    I am also planning, in your honor, to add the words "a small electrical shock to the bum" to all my sentences today.

    LOL

    Pearl

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    1. Pearl: I think it's a speech pattern that could catch on~

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  13. I'd eliminate mirrors so people could only be as old as they felt, not as old as they looked. And people wouldn't need to fixate on the appearance of their bodies so much.

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  14. It is like you gave me a magical wand...I would wave and change people (especially teens) frowns...turn them upside down and just smile more...laugh!! I want to see more people laugh. small little thing.

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    1. Christine: Yes! Smiling teens, laughter...what a grand world!

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  15. I'd clone myself, equipped with a computerized chip that I can easily program from home while relaxing. Of course, all the "benefits" would be transferred back to me and the pesky stuff, like your examples above, would be erased. But I guess that's not a small thing, huh?

    I like your 3D printer for clothes!

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    1. Just thought about what I said, and have declared myself selfish. However, I'll stick with it because it's May which is harder than December. lol I'll be back to my calm, caring self soon.

      Are you missing school yet? I'll bet NOT. :)

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    2. Anita: Truth be told...I've sometimes wished the same thing for myself...for the same reasons!

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    3. And, no, I'm not missing school, but I do miss the kids...

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  16. I love your #3 about banishing overexposed, over-valued celebs from the news in favor of people who are actually doing good things for this world. I would also add bum shocks to people who talk on their cell phones, holding up grocery, pharmacy and bank lines and people on planes who lower their seatbacks fully onto the kneecaps of the unfortunates sitting behind them. I would also wave a wand to give every child a loving auntie to read to them and to tell them how wonderful they are.

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    1. Dr. Kathy: I really, really love these, especially the wonderful auntie....

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  17. I'd give that shock to the drivers who tailgate or don't dim their lights at night, too :)

    And I pity the Amish families who'd have to host the celebrities!

    If I were Queen for the day is a game my mother and I play quite often, to right the wrongs of the world ...

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    1. Jenny-o: We're going to be shocking those bad drivers into safety and respectability!

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  18. I like your list. The world would be nice if you were Queen of Small Things! If I were the Queen of Small things, I'd have a rainbow in everyone's back yard with a pot of gold at the end of it. (And nobody is allowed to steal from another, or they'll get struck by lightening.)

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    1. Sherry: Hurry to my yard with the pot of gold!!!

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  19. I especially love #2! I don't know what would make my list - too many items to choose from. I'll just adopt yours :)

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    1. Carol: I think perfect fitting pants would be a big seller!

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  20. Oh I love your list, I would have people who text and drive get a shock from their phone, I would also have all politicians live on the pension for a month. and men experience the pain of childbirth.................

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    1. Jo-Anne: Yours are terrific! The last one made me laugh-

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  21. I love how you think! I love them all. If I was Queen of the Small Things I would make sure that everyone had at least one day a week to relax and do whatever they want to do.

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    1. Dawn: That is excellent, and I don't think anyone would object!

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  22. These are all so creative and necessary!! You are full of great ideas and by the way, are already a queen in many ways. If I could change things, I'd have people eating dinners as a family more often. It seems like that doesn't happen as much as it should these days.

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    1. Saumya: I fully agree!!! Family dinners are too rare for most kids these days. They need to make a comeback~

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  23. I love the second and the fourth one.
    Thanks for such good ideas.
    I have been reading blogs but not commenting. I have slowed down quite a bit. Keeping up with health issues can take a lot out of us.
    Take care of yourself and your family. Stay safe and healthy.

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    1. Munir: Thank you, my friend- I hope you are recovering. Take care of yourself!!!

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  24. You have many great ideas. Parents need to spend more time with their kids!

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    1. Weekend Windup: So true- a child's best teachers are the parents!

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  25. Love it... especially the first one! So annoying! My inner queen of small things would gift every adult, stressed out after their a week a Friday night glass of wine each..... xx

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    1. jazzygal: Now that would be lovely!

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  26. Yes! You've got the job!!! All hail the Queen!

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    1. Bossy Betty: Sending a queenly wave to you!

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  27. I Love it! Queen of the Small Things. Ha - perfect, Shelly!

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  28. Great choices! I'd change it so that every American business was required to give workers a full month off every year! People don't taken enough vacation time.

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    1. Stephanie: And productivity would grow by leaps and bounds- too bad they just can't learn that here in this country~

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  29. I like your list a lot!
    I was king of the world, the first thing I would do is make bullying, child abuse, animal abuse and arson, all capital offenses.

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    1. Pat: Great list! I nominate you for king!

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  30. Dear Shelly, nothing comes immediately to mind about small things if I were queen of the world today. Getting the members of Congress to work together would be a big thing; getting people to really study the Affordable Care Act would also be big; teaching parents who did not experience good parenting as children to be good parents themselves is also big.

    Now what would be small? Maybe getting a tingle in my cheekbones when the frames I try on suit me! Peace.

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    1. Dee: I love your confirming tingle! I could use that for so many things. And I think you would make a wonderful Queen of the World~

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  31. You have a pretty good list there. Now If I were Queen I would go back to the old fashion way of judging criminals. If a guy is convicted of rape I say cut his dingy off. All it takes it one or two stupid fella's and the rest would get the picture. Harsh criminals such as murderers, abusers, people that do unspeakable things to other people shouldn't have any rights, none, zip notta
    Oh dear, I'm getting a my soap box, I better calm down or my comment will turn into a post haha

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    1. Saimi: What a Queen you would make! And I would love to read it if you wrote a post on it, my friend~

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  32. Good list! Ah, if I were Queen of the Small Things. I would like to see a world where more women supported each other instead of tearing each other down. I'm thinking specifically of working moms picking on at-home moms and vice versa, women in the corporate world surrounding themselves with male employees and not giving other female employees a foothold, women projecting their own body issues onto other women, etc. These are all things I've seen and tried to address in a positive manner in discussions with my fellow females. Sometimes women are receptive to my comments, and other times I get called things like "unrealistic goody goody." Yeah, that's it, it's all my problem.

    Anyway, that's one of the many injustices I'd focus on--girls being nicer to girls. :-)

    Janette
    Mom of two girls whom she is teaching to be kind to other girls

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    1. Janette: Now those are terrific things. Just think how much better the world could be if we followed this. I teach mine the same thing!

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